My sincere apologies for my absence…
Lately, I haven’t been feeling well for some time now.
A sudden wave of depression has sunk me deep below.
Ever since the passing of my mother in law and my grandpa
everything is starting to catch up to me.
This severe depression is making me feel weak and scared.
I won’t lie to you, sometimes I think of suicide.
I don’t even want to eat but I have too.
I cry uncontrollably every day and every hour or so.
My anxiety piles up on my chest like a thousand buildings
crushing me and taking me down to a downward spiral.
Sometimes, I don’t want to live in this world anymore,
but my reasons for living; my girlfriend, family, & friends.
It’s difficult every day to realize that fact that our loved ones
aren’t here with us. It hurts.
Also, I have not been writing or reading or watching any T.V.
There’s so much negativity in this world,
it makes things worse for one’s mental health.
I’ve been having dreams of death, funerals, time travel,
and seeing my own death. It’s extremely scary and I guess
my mind gets the best of me. I feel it being real but it’s not.
I have reasons to live my girlfriend, family, and friends.
Anyone you know who is suffering from depression please reach out to them and help them. Talk to them and listen to them.
I’ll be taking a break from WordPress.
I don’t know when I’ll return.
I need to be at my 100% state of mind.
Once I feel better then I’ll be back.
I’m trying really hard to fight this depression feeling…
I must find the strength within me to fight it and stay positive.
Until then…I don’t be responding to comments…
However, I have a question for anyone that’s reading this.
Have you or anyone you know whose family member passed away has gotten an aftershock of severe unexpected deep depression? If so, I would like to know and please share your experience so I know I’m not alone.
~ Charlie Zero1 the Poet