I chose to write Nonsense, now, go get me an electric shaver

If you yell the testament loud enough –
brains will splatter against cloudless intestines.
Pink cops find intelligence near a cow’s hernia.
The real meaning to life
is counting the pages in a brochure.
William Shatner invented his very own penis,
made out of Coppertone & oven mitts.
Dinosaurs we’re the first species
to talk gibberish about plural nouns & caskets.
Do you ever catch yourself
vomiting vocabularies while watching Jerry Springer?
I might as well punch a fuzzy Pee-wee Herman.
Should you spell fungus
with a T, make sure its design like Oprah winfrey.
Narratives we’re created by dwarf bagels –
the universe promised to spread aids amongst the stars.
Watch out for those Hipster-Nazi’s
they’ll poison your food with vegetarian flaxseed.
Praise Bob and he will reward you
with a stack of peanuts and playboy magazines.
A wise man once said: Find truth and let your blue balls itch.
Should you come across Jesus
throw him a wiener schnitzel?
Let’s talk about the true word of Nonsense.
Buddha can turn his own feces into gold.
If you fart twice chuck Norris
will shake your hand and smile with a common courtesy,
Last thing – I lost my training bra, oh…wait! Those are my watermelons.

 

© Charlie Zero and I chose to write Nonsense, now, go get me an electric shaver,2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and I chose to write Nonsense, now, go get me an electric shaver with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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37 thoughts on “I chose to write Nonsense, now, go get me an electric shaver

  1. Hey, I knew that Shatner had no real guts, just fake /cloudless intestines/–as to his shriveled penis, I leave that to your perusal, sir. Personally I would never trust a dinosaurian undertaker, for rock caskets don’t make it. Did you realize that all dwarf bagels were kissing kousins to several kinds of Cheerios (stay away from the fucking fake dark chocolate ones, dude!). Hey, Jesus, as a Jew would have never allowed his kosher-krazy lips anywhere near a wiener, even a schnitzel.
    You wish those humps were watermelons, man–more like overripe grapefruits, bitch!

  2. Good sound advice in here. I’ll make sure I never spell fungus with a T and I never knew Jesus liked Wiener Schnitzels (all my family adore them though, so it might be tough to share).
    Well, you’re the master of nonsense, so I thought you might have some fun with this prompt!

  3. —————–CHARLIE———————–
    I SENT YOU A WEDDING INVITATION
    BUT THE POSTAL SYSTEM
    DOESN’T DELIVER MAIL TO BOYLE HEIGHTS
    SOMETHING ABOUT THE RISK OF RAPE
    HOMINID SODOMY (?)
    ANYWAY, ALL THOSE YEARS
    OF BEING CELIBATE
    SURE PAID OFF
    THE BOTTOMLESS PIT OF SEX
    IS WAY BEYOND ANYTHING DISNEY
    OBSCENITIES IN THE BEDROOM
    NOTHING TERRIFYING
    ABOUT SEXUAL TANTRUMS
    THAT OLD LINE
    “I WOULD GO SO FAR
    AND NO FARTHER”
    ———WOW———-
    THE FARTHER THE BETTER
    GLAD TO SEE YOU’VE RETURNED
    TO THE FLARF WATERING HOLE
    SEEMS SO HARD TO BE WEIRD
    YOU WRITE ABOUT WEIRD
    AND IT BECOMES LESS WEIRD
    IN THE MIND OF THE READER
    INSEMINATED BY FLARF (?)
    THIRSTY ORGANISMS IN SEARCH
    OF A GOOD SWALLOW OF FLARF
    A SIMPLE CRUMB OF FLARF
    HOW UNPLEASANT AND UPSETTING
    A CONSISTENT LACK OF FLARF
    PEOPLE WITHOUT FLARF
    SEEM TO WANT OTHER PEOPLE
    TO BE AS UNHAPPY
    AS THEY ARE
    POETRY SEEMS TO BE
    ABOUT COMMUNICATING
    MISERY
    EVERY SHADOW HAS A MESSENGER
    OF DECEPTION
    SMART READERS SHOULD SEARCH
    FOR A MEANS OF REDUCING
    THEIR UNHAPPINESS
    ACTIVELY STRIVE FOR HAPPINESS
    MARITAL HAPPINESS IS A GOOD START
    BANG THE DRUM LOUDLY

    1. —————–MICHAEL———————–
      I SENT YOU A WEDDING INVITATION
      BUT THE POSTAL SYSTEM
      DOESN’T DELIVER MAIL TO BOYLE HEIGHTS
      SOMETHING ABOUT THE RISK OF RAPE
      HOMINID SODOMY (?)
      ANYWAY, ALL THOSE YEARS
      OF BEING CELIBATE
      SURE PAID OFF
      THE BOTTOMLESS PIT OF SEX
      IS WAY BEYOND ANYTHING DISNEY
      OBSCENITIES IN THE BEDROOM
      NOTHING TERRIFYING
      ABOUT SEXUAL TANTRUMS
      THAT OLD LINE
      “I WOULD GO SO FAR
      AND NO FARTHER”
      ———WOW———-
      THE FARTHER THE BETTER
      GLAD TO SEE YOU’VE RETURNED
      TO THE FLARF WATERING HOLE
      SEEMS SO HARD TO BE WEIRD
      YOU WRITE ABOUT WEIRD
      AND IT BECOMES LESS WEIRD
      IN THE MIND OF THE READER
      INSEMINATED BY FLARF (?)
      THIRSTY ORGANISMS IN SEARCH
      OF A GOOD SWALLOW OF FLARF
      A SIMPLE CRUMB OF FLARF
      HOW UNPLEASANT AND UPSETTING
      A CONSISTENT LACK OF FLARF
      PEOPLE WITHOUT FLARF
      SEEM TO WANT OTHER PEOPLE
      TO BE AS UNHAPPY
      AS THEY ARE
      POETRY SEEMS TO BE
      ABOUT COMMUNICATING
      MISERY
      EVERY SHADOW HAS A MESSENGER
      OF DECEPTION
      SMART READERS SHOULD SEARCH
      FOR A MEANS OF REDUCING
      THEIR UNHAPPINESS
      ACTIVELY STRIVE FOR HAPPINESS
      MARITAL HAPPINESS IS A GOOD START
      BANG THE DRUM LOUDLY

  4. —————–CHARLIE———————
    I CHEATED AND PRINTED WORDS
    IN YOUR BLANK-VERSE
    DAILY LIFE
    I KISSED YOUR GIRLFRIEND
    WITHOUT WARNING
    SHE THOUGHT MY KISS
    WAS BIBLICAL
    I WAS NOAH
    AND HER TONGUE WAS THE ARK

    1. I AM SORRY THAT YOU HAD YOUR QUESTION REMOVED
      —FOR THE SAKE OF LINGUISTIC SPECULATION
      THE WORK OF “INCENTIVE PSYCHOLOGISTS” ?
      EVIDENCE ON YOUR PERSONAL PILLOW
      NOT THE VULGAR UNDER THE RUMP PILLOW
      OR THE PILLOW WITH HAIR FROM EMILY DICKINSON
      I SWEAR THAT YOUR PINNACLE DID GLITTER
      HEIGHTENED LANGUAGE OR IRREDEEMABLE PROSE ?
      YOU ALWAYS HAD VERTICAL CROTCH
      THAT DIXIE CUP OF MODESTY
      NEVER FLACCID—OPPORTUNISTIC
      NONPOETS AS UNDESIRABLES
      ALPHABETICAL SEX
      SWOLLEN FROM A SPIDER BITE

      1. I AM SORRY THAT YOU HAD YOUR QUESTION REMOVED
        —FOR THE SAKE OF LINGUISTIC SPECULATION
        THE WORK OF “INCENTIVE PSYCHOLOGISTS” ?
        EVIDENCE ON YOUR PERSONAL PILLOW
        NOT THE VULGAR UNDER THE RUMP PILLOW
        OR THE PILLOW WITH HAIR FROM EMILY DICKINSON
        I SWEAR THAT YOUR PINNACLE DID GLITTER
        HEIGHTENED LANGUAGE OR IRREDEEMABLE PROSE ?
        YOU ALWAYS HAD VERTICAL CROTCH
        THAT DIXIE CUP OF MODESTY
        NEVER FLACCID—OPPORTUNISTIC
        NONPOETS AS UNDESIRABLES
        ALPHABETICAL SEX
        SWOLLEN FROM A SPIDER BITE

        1. AT WHAT PRICE WILL YOU BE RESHAPED ?
          ———-remember poor Joan———-
          A NASTY SPIDER BITE ON YOUR MANHOOD
          YOUR MONSTER IS REALLY A MONSTER NOW
          I RECALL READING A SHORT EROTIC STORY
          ABOUT A NATIVE AMERICAN
          GETTING A SNAKEBITE THERE
          AND IMPREGNATING
          ALL THE WOMEN IN THE TRIBE
          JOHN KENNEDY LOVED THAT TALE
          HE SEEMED TO BE IN A CONSTANT
          GROPE FOR SHADOWLAND FRICTION

          1. ———————-CHARLIE————-
            WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG
            EVERYTHING WAS ON A FIRST-HAND BASIS
            YOU WERE OFTEN SO WEAK
            THAT OTHERS HAD TO CARRY
            YOUR BOX OF KLEENEX
            MANY TIMES I WOULD SEE YOU
            WRITING ON THE BATHROOM STALLS
            THE FOIBLES AND SINS OF HUMANITY
            MORAL CONFLICTS COMMON TO YOUTH
            LIFE WAS A BACKDROP
            AS JOHNNY BOY WOULD SAY, “A CURTAIN”
            A THIN CLOTH COVERING DEBASED
            AND INDULGENT URGES

            1. PLEASE NOTE THAT CHARLIE ZERO
              WILL CONCLUDE
              THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT
              IN JESUS’ DAY
              THERE WERE NO CHRISTIANS
              POVERTY AND INJUSTICE SUPREME
              FLARF WALKED AROUND LIKE A MAN
              A LANGUAGE OF ORDINARY PEOPLE
              PANTS MADE FROM KING JAMES
              100% COTTON TRANSLATION
              FREE FROM MOTH AND RUST
              WHERE YOUR TREASURE SLEEPS
              THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE

              1. FROM REVERIE TO THE HYPNAGOGIC STATE
                CHARLIE ZERO RIDING FLARF
                A METHOD TO EASE IN TO THE OCCULT
                WORD-OF-MOUTH POETRY—SYMBOLS AND NARRATIVES
                CHRISTIANS TERRIFIED OF THEIR REFLECTIONS
                THEY JUST CANNOT CUT MONEY OFF THE CHURCH
                CASH MONEY IS THE HUGE BULL SAC OF THE CHURCH

                1. FROM REVERIE TO THE HYPNAGOGIC STATE
                  MULTIPLEMICHAEL RIDING FLARF
                  A METHOD TO EASE IN TO THE OCCULT
                  WORD-OF-MOUTH POETRY—SYMBOLS AND NARRATIVES
                  CHRISTIANS TERRIFIED OF THEIR REFLECTIONS
                  THEY JUST CANNOT CUT MONEY OFF THE CHURCH
                  CASH MONEY IS THE HUGE BULL SAC OF THE CHURCH

              2. PLEASE NOTE THAT MULTIPLEMICHAEL
                WILL CONCLUDE
                THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT
                IN JESUS’ DAY
                THERE WERE NO CHRISTIANS
                POVERTY AND INJUSTICE SUPREME
                FLARF WALKED AROUND LIKE A MAN
                A LANGUAGE OF ORDINARY PEOPLE
                PANTS MADE FROM KING JAMES
                100% COTTON TRANSLATION
                FREE FROM MOTH AND RUST
                WHERE YOUR TREASURE SLEEPS
                THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE

                1. ——————-CHARLIE ZERO——————-
                  YOU WROTE A POEM TODAY, “LOVE IS LIKE A GROUP OF ROWDY YOUNG MEN”
                  ONE EX-HUSBAND AFTER ANOTHER, MULTIPLE EX-HUSBANDS
                  SEARCHING FOR HEINOUS HAIRS FROM THE BACKSIDE
                  EROTIC BUT BARBARIC, WHAT POETS DO TO WORDS
                  BEFORE THEY SET THE CAPTIVES FREE
                  MERCENARY FLARF POETS
                  FACES HIDDEN
                  NAKED EYES THAT TAUNT THE COMPUTER GODS
                  WHO LABOR TO IDENTIFY THE HORNS AND HOOFED FEET
                  TO SHOW WORDSMITHS THE CONSEQUENCES OF SIN
                  SPIRITUAL ANXIETIES
                  CANNOT BE WASHED
                  FROM YOUR UNDERWEAR
                  THROW THEM AWAY
                  AND START FRESH

                2. ——————Multiplemichael——————-
                  YOU WROTE A POEM TODAY, “LOVE IS LIKE A GROUP OF ROWDY YOUNG MEN”
                  ONE EX-HUSBAND AFTER ANOTHER, MULTIPLE EX-HUSBANDS
                  SEARCHING FOR HEINOUS HAIRS FROM THE BACKSIDE
                  EROTIC BUT BARBARIC, WHAT POETS DO TO WORDS
                  BEFORE THEY SET THE CAPTIVES FREE
                  MERCENARY FLARF POETS
                  FACES HIDDEN
                  NAKED EYES THAT TAUNT THE COMPUTER GODS
                  WHO LABOR TO IDENTIFY THE HORNS AND HOOFED FEET
                  TO SHOW WORDSMITHS THE CONSEQUENCES OF SIN
                  SPIRITUAL ANXIETIES
                  CANNOT BE WASHED
                  FROM YOUR UNDERWEAR
                  THROW THEM AWAY
                  AND START FRESH

                3. —————–CHARLIE ZERO—————
                  I READ TODAY THAT YOU WERE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED
                  WITH LINDA BLAIR (REGAN FROM THE “THE EXORCIST”)
                  WOW—-TALK ABOUT PUBERTY AND 666
                  EVIL AND ROMANCE IN THE SAME PACKAGE
                  SEX MUST HAVE BEEN DANGEROUSLY LARGE
                  TO EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE PRIZE
                  AND THEN TO SURVIVE

                4. —————–Multiple Michael—————
                  I READ TODAY THAT YOU WERE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED
                  WITH LINDA BLAIR (REGAN FROM THE “THE EXORCIST”)
                  WOW—-TALK ABOUT PUBERTY AND 666
                  EVIL AND ROMANCE IN THE SAME PACKAGE
                  SEX MUST HAVE BEEN DANGEROUSLY LARGE
                  TO EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE PRIZE
                  AND THEN TO SURVIVE

                5. ————————-CHARLIE ZERO CHARLIE ZERO CHARLIE ZERO CHARLIE ZERO
                  THE IMPORTANCE OF INTERROGATING
                  THE QUESTION OF FLARF
                  WHY IS IT TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED ?
                  THE WILLINGNESS ON THE PART OF READERS
                  TO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES IN THE DARK CEMETERY
                  —–THE 24 HOUR CEMETERY—–
                  SOCKLESS FEET
                  AFTERLIFE TEETH
                  PLURALISTIC, FRESH FROM THE MODERN WORLD
                  FLARF IS THE NEW IMPROVED LIGHTBULB
                  FLARF IS THE SOUND OF A LAWN MOWER IN HELL

                6. ————————-MULTIPLEMICHAEL MULTIPLEMICHAEL MULTIPLEMICHAEL MULTIPLEMICHAEL
                  THE IMPORTANCE OF INTERROGATING
                  THE QUESTION OF FLARF
                  WHY IS IT TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED ?
                  THE WILLINGNESS ON THE PART OF READERS
                  TO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES IN THE DARK CEMETERY
                  —–THE 24 HOUR CEMETERY—–
                  SOCKLESS FEET
                  AFTERLIFE TEETH
                  PLURALISTIC, FRESH FROM THE MODERN WORLD
                  FLARF IS THE NEW IMPROVED LIGHTBULB
                  FLARF IS THE SOUND OF A LAWN MOWER IN HELL

                7. ******************************************************
                  *************************************************
                  ********************************************
                  CHARLIE ZERO (EARTH STATION)
                  BEHIND YOUR WORDS
                  INTERVENTIONS
                  FROM THE DECEASED
                  FLARF GHOSTS
                  –TORN WORDS–
                  A LITTLE AFRAID
                  IN THE DARK
                  GRUESOME TEETH
                  A NEIGHBOR WHO STALKS YOU
                  EARLY SATURDAY MORNING
                  THE SOUND OF A LAWN MOWER
                  LIKE A METAL TONGUE
                  AT DEVIL WORSHIP

                8. ******************************************************
                  *************************************************
                  ********************************************
                  MULTIPLEMICHAEL (EARTH STATION)
                  BEHIND YOUR WORDS
                  INTERVENTIONS
                  FROM THE DECEASED
                  FLARF GHOSTS
                  –TORN WORDS–
                  A LITTLE AFRAID
                  IN THE DARK
                  GRUESOME TEETH
                  A NEIGHBOR WHO STALKS YOU
                  EARLY SATURDAY MORNING
                  THE SOUND OF A LAWN MOWER
                  LIKE A METAL TONGUE
                  AT DEVIL WORSHIP

                9. why do people not obey God ?
                  ————————————————Charlie Zero
                  why do people not obey God ?
                  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
                  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
                  GOD TELLS PEOPLE WHAT TO DO
                  PEOPLE IGNORE GOD
                  THEY CAN SMELL SODOM AND GOMORRAH
                  ON HIS CHECKLIST
                  THEY KNOW HE WILL PUNISH
                  POTENT REMINDERS OF THE PAST
                  RECTAL TSUNAMI
                  WASHED AWAY THE LOVE
                  NO ENCYCLOPEDIA ON THE HONEYMOON
                  THE WHEELBARROW SEX WAS FUN
                  PINK AND BROWN PLAGUE SIGHTS WERE VISIBLE
                  THERE WERE HORSE HAIRS

                10. why do people not obey God ?
                  ————————————————MULTIPLE MICHAEL
                  why do people not obey God ?
                  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
                  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
                  GOD TELLS PEOPLE WHAT TO DO
                  PEOPLE IGNORE GOD
                  THEY CAN SMELL SODOM AND GOMORRAH
                  ON HIS CHECKLIST
                  THEY KNOW HE WILL PUNISH
                  POTENT REMINDERS OF THE PAST
                  RECTAL TSUNAMI
                  WASHED AWAY THE LOVE
                  NO ENCYCLOPEDIA ON THE HONEYMOON
                  THE WHEELBARROW SEX WAS FUN
                  PINK AND BROWN PLAGUE SIGHTS WERE VISIBLE
                  THERE WERE HORSE HAIRS

  5. CRAGGY HILLS AND NUDE WOMEN
    ON THE PATH TO GOLGOTHA
    ASKED TO ISOLATE
    VARIOUS CHARLIE ZERO ELEMENTS
    THE SWEET VOICE OF HIS SOUL
    HIS INTELLECTUAL BEAUTY
    PECULIARLY FITTED TO BE A POET
    CLEAR GOLDEN URINE LIKE A RACE HORSE
    HIS THIRST FOR LOVE—FULL CIRCLE
    TONGUELESS LOVERS MOAN
    ERECT WITH EXPECTATION
    HASTE BUT NOT WASTE
    A WANDERER IN THE FOLDS OF FLESH
    GAPE AND SPLIT AND PRESSED TO SMILE

    1. CRAGGY HILLS AND NUDE WOMEN
      ON THE PATH TO GOLGOTHA
      ASKED TO ISOLATE
      VARIOUS MULTIPLE MICHAEL ELEMENTS
      THE SWEET VOICE OF HIS SOUL
      HIS INTELLECTUAL BEAUTY
      PECULIARLY FITTED TO BE A POET
      CLEAR GOLDEN URINE LIKE A RACE HORSE
      HIS THIRST FOR LOVE—FULL CIRCLE
      TONGUELESS LOVERS MOAN
      ERECT WITH EXPECTATION
      HASTE BUT NOT WASTE
      A WANDERER IN THE FOLDS OF FLESH
      GAPE AND SPLIT AND PRESSED TO SMILE

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