My 2am is a Lyrical ha! Ha! Ha! (A Flarf Poem)

High school reminds me
of why I should stop asking myself
on how to write dirty summaries instead of lyrical ha! Ha! Adolf.

 
I enjoy logging out
of burning man jams
and resolution dumbasses.

 
My 2am grew a testicle
Shhh… it’s trying to win a poker game.
How many robotic arms, does a New Zealand rabbit DNA lady
have to bench-press toilets?

 
I make bad poetry sound like a toaster.
What if Ted Nugent discovered the first jump-rope?
Would that make him a sexist?
Can you tell the difference between Matthew Mcconaughey
& a ukulele?
What makes us so special?
Nothing, only that we still use 10% of our brain,

 
My 2am sings Frank Sinatra –
why do I even bother talking to a milk carton,
this will result with me watching 24 hour marathon of Jerry Springer.

 
Copyright © Charlie Zero

All rights Reserved.

No part of My 2am is a lyrical ha! Ha! Ha!– may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and My 2am is a lyrical ha! Ha! Ha! with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Advertisements

47 thoughts on “My 2am is a Lyrical ha! Ha! Ha! (A Flarf Poem)

  1. I think you captured the essence of high school there in the opening. Ha. I should know, I teach high school. replaced a toilet not too long ago either, and they are no joke to bench press. Do you know how much joy the ding of that toaster brings. If I could write a toaster ding, I would. &cheese fries.

  2. Ha, I hope that if your 2 a.m. sings Frank Sinatra it also gets the royalties! And watching 24 hours of Jerry Springer sounds as exciting as bench-pressing toilets. Smiles!

  3. MORE GEOGRAPHIC THAN SPIRITUAL LITTLE CHARLIE ZERO
    HIGH SCHOOL WAS ISOLATION PAINTED BLANK GRAY
    THE CHARACTERS IN OUR VILLAGE—DISPOSSESSED SOULS
    WARRING FACTIONS…OBLIVION IN THE FINAL MOMENTS
    EVENTUAL TRIUMPHS OF SACRIFICE
    I FELT SORRY FOR YOU
    THAT 2am TESTICLE WAS A REAL NIGHTMARE
    IT MADE YOU THE RINGO OF THE GROUP

    1. MORE GEOGRAPHIC THAN SPIRITUAL LITTLE MULTIPLE-MICHAEL
      HIGH SCHOOL WAS ISOLATION PAINTED BLANK GRAY
      THE CHARACTERS IN OUR VILLAGE—DISPOSSESSED SOULS
      WARRING FACTIONS…OBLIVION IN THE FINAL MOMENTS
      EVENTUAL TRIUMPHS OF SACRIFICE
      I FELT SORRY FOR YOU
      THAT 2am TESTICLE WAS A REAL NIGHTMARE
      IT MADE YOU THE RINGO OF THE GROUP

      1. IT IS NEVER 2am IN THE MAUSOLEUM
        REMEMBER THAT HIT SONG BY THE BEACH BOYS ?
        “DWELL IN POSSIBILITY”
        BABY, WHEN YOU’RE OUT COLD THERE ON THE SLAB
        ALL YOU CAN THINK ——
        AM I BEING SINGLED OUT OF GROUP PHOTOGRAPHS ?

        1. ISOLATION SCHOOLS PAINTED THE FACTION OBLIVION.
          SOULS WARRING, SACRIFICE THE SPIRITUAL RINGO.
          AS FINAL GROUPS DETER, SO DOES GEOGRAPHIC 2am.
          SORRY FOR THE BLANK MOMENTS
          EVENTUAL THE TESTICLE PART WILL TRIUMPH
          OVER NIGHTMARE VILLAGE— PLEASE DISPOSES OF WHAT YOU MADE.

          1. WHEN YOU HIT THE SLAB
            ALL THE SONGS GROW OUT TO BE COLD
            GROUP SESSIONS NEVER HELP PHOTOGRAPY
            THE BEACH THINKS IT’S A BOYS
            THE POSSIBILITY DOESN’T STOP TO DWELL ON NEVER 2am
            MAUSOLEUMS REMEMBER TO STAY SINGLE & OUT.
            YOU’RE THE SLAB SINGLE IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO COME UP WITH YOUR NEXT HIT.

            1. SO YOU THINK THE BEACH BOYS WERE BOYS
              MUSIC BECOMING POST MORTUARY GIFTS
              YOU HIT THE SLAB—TIGHT UNDERWEAR (LIFE-AFFIRMING)
              THAT 2am TESTICLE PROMISES TO KEEP YOU ALERT
              CHARLIE ZERO WITH HIS OWN AUDIENCE OF INTIMATES
              PRISON CORRESPONDENCE—LITERARY CRIMES GALORE
              ADVICE AND SUPPORT LIKE BROKEN GLASS AND RUSTY NAILS
              NOT-SO-SIMPLE TO PASS BAREFOOT IN THIS WORLD
              THAT TENTATIVE EFFORT TO ACHIEVE RECOGNITION
              “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHARLIE ZERO HAS ENTERED THE ROOM”

              1. SO YOU THINK THE BEACH BOYS WERE BOYS
                MUSIC BECOMING POST MORTUARY GIFTS
                YOU HIT THE SLAB—TIGHT UNDERWEAR (LIFE-AFFIRMING)
                THAT 2am TESTICLE PROMISES TO KEEP YOU ALERT
                MULTIPLE MICHAEL WITH HIS OWN AUDIENCE OF INTIMATES
                PRISON CORRESPONDENCE—LITERARY CRIMES GALORE
                ADVICE AND SUPPORT LIKE BROKEN GLASS AND RUSTY NAILS
                NOT-SO-SIMPLE TO PASS BAREFOOT IN THIS WORLD
                THAT TENTATIVE EFFORT TO ACHIEVE RECOGNITION
                “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MULTIPLE MICHAEL HAS ENTERED THE ROOM”

            1. RUMOR HAS IT THAT PETER HAS IDEAS ABOUT A CHRISTMAS SONG
              CHRISTMAS TEACHES ONE THAT EXPECTATIONS
              ARE CONTINUOUSLY BETRAYED
              THE UGLY SHOCK OF OPENING THE GIFTS
              NO MATTER HOW HARD ONE TRIES TO RESIST
              THE PUNISHING CONCLUSIONS
              ———–JUST THINK
              THE YEAR YOUR PARENTS GOT BABY CHARLIE ZERO
              RELATIVES ASSEMBLED AT THE HOSPITAL
              A FEW BLESSED WITH THE THEATRICAL SPECTACLE
              (people still chuckle at family reunions about your 2am testicle)

              1. RUMOR HAS IT THAT PETER HAS IDEAS ABOUT A CHRISTMAS SONG
                CHRISTMAS TEACHES ONE THAT EXPECTATIONS
                ARE CONTINUOUSLY BETRAYED
                THE UGLY SHOCK OF OPENING THE GIFTS
                NO MATTER HOW HARD ONE TRIES TO RESIST
                THE PUNISHING CONCLUSIONS
                ———–JUST THINK
                THE YEAR YOUR PARENTS GOT BABY MULTIPLE-MICHAEL
                RELATIVES ASSEMBLED AT THE HOSPITAL
                A FEW BLESSED WITH THE THEATRICAL SPECTACLE
                (people still chuckle at family reunions about your 2am testicle)

                1. I GET LATE NIGHT CALLS ABOUT THE PARALLELISM
                  ———-WHAT DO I SAY ?
                  OBLIQUELY THROUGH SOME NEW AGE FUSION ?
                  THE OBVIOUS WITHHOLDS ITS MEANING
                  CHARLIE ZERO ADMITS NO MEMORY OF A PERSONAL PAST
                  EACH DAY BEING A SPACE UNKNOWN
                  PLUG IN THE FLARF MACHINE
                  WATCH THE WORDS PILE UP ON THE FLOOR
                  LITERARY RADICALISM ?

                2. I GET LATE NIGHT CALLS ABOUT THE PARALLELISM
                  ———-WHAT DO I SAY ?
                  OBLIQUELY THROUGH SOME NEW AGE FUSION ?
                  THE OBVIOUS WITHHOLDS ITS MEANING
                  MULTIPLE-MICHAEL ADMITS NO MEMORY OF A PERSONAL PAST
                  EACH DAY BEING A SPACE UNKNOWN
                  PLUG IN THE FLARF MACHINE
                  WATCH THE WORDS PILE UP ON THE FLOOR
                  LITERARY RADICALISM ?

                3. CHARLIE ZERO———————————MARTYRED POET OF FLARF
                  WHAT WOULD IT MEAN IF ON CHRISTMAS DAY
                  YOU LOOKED OUT A WINDOW
                  AND SAW THE YARD FULL OF PETERS
                  ALL DIFFERENT SIZES AND COLORS
                  MANY WITH MALE PSEUDONYMS
                  HANDSOME PETERS
                  WELL EDUCATED PETERS
                  PETERS SENSITIVE TO THE ANXIETIES OF OTHERS
                  WOULD YOU RECOGNIZE THAT THEIR HANDWRITING WAS MASCULINE ?
                  WOULD YOU OFFER ENCOURAGEMENT ?
                  WOULD YOU TAKE PHOTOS AND TRY TO SELL THEM ON eBAY ?
                  OR TRY TO MEASURE THEM
                  AND PUT THE NUMBERS
                  IN A SMALL BOOK
                  THAT YOU KEEP HIDDEN
                  A BOOK OF NUMBERS THAT THREATENS
                  YOUR SEXUAL SELF-CONFIDENCE
                  (the flarf poet is always hungry)
                  SENSATIONAL CHARLIE ZERO
                  ESTRANGED BUT NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD OF ONE-EYED POETS
                  A RECLUSE WHO GOES OUT ON SOLITARY WALKS
                  PURSUING THE IMPLICATIONS OF HIS 2am TESTICLE

                4. DO SPACE FLOORS SPARK A FUSION?
                  THE LATE NON-PERSONAL FLARF SAYS;
                  CALL THE OBVIOUS DAY RADICALISM.
                  TELL IT – NO MEMORY
                  MEANING A MACHINE WATCH WITHHOLDS
                  NEW MULTIPLE-MICHAEL
                  HIS WORDS ARE THE OBVIOUS PILE PLUG
                  HE ADMITS PARALLELISM ———-TO AN OLD FAT CELL PHONE DUST

                  CRIMES PASS…LIKE A HIT BECOMING PROMISES…
                  LIKE INTIMATES…PRISON OF MULTIPLE-MICHAEL…
                  RECOGNITION LADIES OF THE WORLD THAT OWN SO MANY UNDERWEAR,
                  AND KEEP THE TESTICLE CRIMES ON ALERT.
                  MUTIPLE-MICHAEL SLABS—THE TIGHT BROKEN EFFORTS
                  CORRESPONDENCE—TO MORTUARY GLASS TESTICLE SUPPORT ROOM.
                  THE GIFTS YOU ACHIEVE…THE MORE 2am THINKS YOUR (LIFE-AFFIRMING) THAT.
                  NAILS ARE NOT-SO-SIMPLE — YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW BAREFOOT GALORE
                  ADVICED THE GENTLEMEN FOUR.

                5. I SAW YOUR NEIGHBOR TRYING TO PICK UP
                  THE PETERS OUT FRONT
                  TWO BAGS:
                  ONE FOR PETERS WITH PICTORIAL VOLUPTUITY
                  ONE FOR REJECTS AND UNCLAIMED DOG POOP
                  WHERE ARE YOU AT—CHARLIE ZERO ?
                  DO YOU IDENTIFY AS A METAPHOR ?
                  WHICH IS BETTER—HUMAN NEARNESS
                  OR HUMAN DISTANCE ?
                  AN EXPRESSIONLESS FACE IN THE MIRROR ?
                  SELF-RENEWING DOCTOR VISITS
                  PILLS LOST, STOLEN, STASHED

                6. ONE FOR PETERS WITH PICTORIAL VOLUPTUITY
                  ONE FOR REJECTS AND UNCLAIMED DOG POOP
                  WHERE ARE YOU AT—CHARLIE ZERO ?
                  DO YOU IDENTIFY AS A METAPHOR ?
                  WHICH IS BETTER—HUMAN NEARNESS
                  OR SELF-RENEWING DOCTOR VISITS
                  PILLS LOST, STOLEN, STASHED
                  I SAW YOUR NEIGHBOR TRYING TO PICK UP
                  THE PETERS OUT FRONT
                  TWO BAGS: HUMAN DISTANCE ?
                  AN EXPRESSIONLESS FACE IN THE MIRROR ?

  4. Flarf Forever, for it zings & sings, dunks testicles in treacle, talks to the cartoon figures on milk cartons, remembers that only the fucking “cool kids” had the money, new cars, & designer drugs,wraps chains around the axle of the gym teacher’s Edsel, learns all about Ma Hand & her five lovely daughters, has no dinero for the bullshit prom, drives a beater, has a part time job, & is pleased with an IQ over 100, knowing it will serve you well further up the adolescent track.

    1. drugs talk & sings. dunks prom, money, it zings the gym drives Forever.
      it’s a lovely treacle, cartoons testicles are part axle. the designer Hand zings in cartons,
      cars beating to their further will.

      cool teacher’s learn how to take drugs & veggie wraps.
      Everything is bullshit & disfigured king Forever.

    1. “Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you’ve got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.”
      ― Frank Zappa

  5. I used to talk to the picture on the milk cartons – wish them to be safe, to be found. When I read bench pressing toilets, I think of doing restaurant work years ago and having to heft the huge bowl of an industrial mixer filled with dough onto a table top to shape into loaves for the morning bread. Always amazed my ovaries didn’t drop onto the floor. I hated high school. I’m glad you made it through. Interesting and real take on 2 a.m.

  6. 90% of school is truly a personal waste of time.. a cultural product to keep the whole of society running automatically with same as robot humans.. to get in the know truly.. is to eventually escape the know of school.. and cultural byproducts of time now.. infinity more.. as free verse human experience..:)

  7. Well, that was different, lol! I feel old — I had to google ‘flarf’. I loved the poem before I did that, and now I love the whole idea of flarf poetry. I hope it is not crass if I say it reminds me a bit of dada. Thank you!

Be Anonymous!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s