Friends Share the Same Suicide


We are the outcast –

the ones you’ve tortured, laughed at,
abused, humiliated.
You’ve pushed us into a corner –
fingers pointing
making a total mockery of our misery.

I once believed in hope
just like everyone else.
Mr. Society took my childhood
drowned it in a pool of feces.

My soul is a ticking clock
waiting to slip away.
Do you know what it feels like
to walk with your own casket?
Do you know what it feels like
to be in someone else is shoes?
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t.

The pain consumes me
Isolation comforts me.
You and I can share the same suicide,
share the same scars, share the same vulnerability,
and share the same cruelty.

Hug your best friends
Hug your family
the best times of your life
will come to a collision.

I cry in deaths shoulders
because no one ever listens.
I cry myself to sleep
because god was just a fucking illusion.

 

————————————————————————————————–

Anti-Bullying Awareness Month

This poem was written a couple of years back, when I was at my most vulnerable state. In other words – my PTSD kicked in. Flash backs of my past get triggered by verbal abuse, bullying, ignoring me, etc…etc.
I was a victim of bullying as far as I can remember. I use to feel suicidal, felt like the world didn’t listen to me, or didn’t want to be my friend. Those days are long gone now. I’m a new changed person, with my beautiful girlfriend who I love very much…and she’s been very supportive of me throughout the 5 years that we’ve been together. She’s also, supportive of my poetry works. I’d also like to give a super special thanks to Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, if it wasn’t for you music of hope, I would not be here today.

If you know something who is feeling alone, sad, and with no friends. Please give them a hug, tell them that they are not alone. This poem is for the outsiders, genders, metal-heads, goth kids, everyone else who feels what I felt.

And a super-sonic thanks to all my poet friends here on WordPress for being such great souls and passionate brilliant writers.

Every single one of you has brought a big smile, influence on me and my writing.

Thank you. 

Copyright © Charlie Zero

All rights Reserved.

No part of Friends Share the Same Suicide – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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46 thoughts on “Friends Share the Same Suicide

    1. Thank you sir.

      This poem was written in a time when I was feeling numb and experiencing loneliness,
      and I didn’t want to talk to no one…just be alone.

      Now, I feel relieved to have written it down, looking back…I just close the door and keep moving forward with life and enjoying the purity of earth. 🙂

      This was a challenge of me writing this poem, compare to what I usually write.
      As a human I’m expressing my feelings to the world and I’m not afraid to show my sensitive side. 🙂

  1. ((((Hugs))))) I’m so sorry you had to endure such torture. You wrote this piece so raw and honest. I’m so glad you’ve found your true love and begun to heal. ❤️
    This is a great piece!

  2. Charlie this is absolutely my favorite piece. Wow how I can relate and wow how beautiful your soul is shinning through each and every word. You are brave and inspiring- you are bringing hope and love through the rawness of your words- still maintaining a gorgeous poetic flow. You are brilliant. I am so happy you have found a love that supports your writing- that is a huge gift! A gift you deserve. All of my love and respect to you Charlie.

    1. Thank you Souldiergirl.

      This poem here was a big challenge for me…and in my writing career.
      7 minutes it took me to write this poem. I was feeling the flow…and had to get my stress and depression written on paper.

      And yes, hope is what I pass on to anyone who went through this ordeal, or, any family should read this because maybe their own kids are being bullied…and we need to help them and fight back against bullies.

      No one should ever have to go through what I went through.

      I was a victim and now I can express those feelings of the past in a different way of helping others and bringing hope to this planet. Change is a difficult thing to accomplish, but if we all give change a chance, good things can happen.

      1. Yes I agree- change is tough- I think of it like a rebirth and the correlation to birthing pains- so hard but then, alas! A new and beautiful creation is born! I am so sorry for the pain you have gone through but I am so comforted that you are now using that to help others- what a gift for one to know they are not alone- to know there may be hope. 💙

  3. I really can’t find the words to express the heartache I felt when reading this. I’m glad you are in a better place now. This poem really captures the desperation and hopelessness that can come with depression and loneliness. Powerful.

    1. Thank you Tosha.

      I was in a state of isolation and loneliness. I was at that time, going through almost a nervous breakdown and complete madness. Nevertheless – I’m strong willed and can control my mind and the feeling of empty.

      My state right now is better…there’s ups and downs in life…but hey life can bring such a mystery to us humans.

      Happiness, creativity, & imagination is the medicine. 🙂

    1. It’s the truth. This is the story that I experienced and went through. I don’t want anyone in this next generation of further to go through what I had to endure.

      Don’t worry…I’m happy now. No, harm will come to me. 🙂

  4. Whew. Straight forward and with a punch. To walk in your own casket. Heartbreaking.
    It is sickening what we will do to each other in this life. Bullies suck. Been there – as you know
    and this tells it.

  5. This is quite simply… brilliant. Everyone should read this. You are a powerful voice, and I cry with pride at your strength, guts, and wisdom. You blow me away. If this is now, I can’t freaking wait for all the rest of you to evolve. You’re a light. A light for your generation and a survivor who has every ounce of my respect. I’m so proud of you. ♡♡♡

    1. Thank you so much sis…It means a lot coming from you. 🙂

      These poems I’m posting are just the beginning of things of me evolving…but I will still post bizarre poems…here and there. I guess I’m going to balance it out from both elements.

      🙂

      You too, have my respects for being my best friend, family, and a genius poet yourself. 🙂

      🙂 🙂

        1. 🙂 Thank you. Just giving you a heads up. I’m going to post a new poem in just a bit. It’s going to be completely and I mean completely different from what I’ve been posting last week and especially from this poem. I’m going to post a sci-fi poem but with a good or bad natural acid trip poem. It’s a thinker. 🙂 Keep an eye out for it. 🙂

            1. Have you read any William Gibson? If you have read his works awesome. If not, let me know. Have you heard of Mark Z Danielewski? He has this book called: Only Revolutions. I strongly recommend it. Have you read book “Dune” by Frank Herbert?

              My Birthday is January 30th. When is your birthday? If you want to tell me. No, pressure. 🙂

  6. Such beautiful raw vulnerability and emotion here. Very human and very beautiful… Anger, sadness, the whole of it. As a reader I could feel it all and connect with it. Sometimes people like to say that life is simple. I do not agree with that at all ..and if it is simple, then it’s simple from a different context, one from which we just cannot wrap our heads around with the learned tendency for escapism we often hold dear. The escapism I’m talking about is the escape from ourselves and our own painful aspects of being and emotions. People are cruel and rejecting of others because they are at the core, cruel and rejecting of themselves and they hide that. Others are overly nice and overly accepting of others (to there own detriment) ironically, because they are also cruel and rejecting to themselves. It can go either way depending on which polarity a person has chosen. Either way, we all agree that the ones who project that cruelty on to other people are the most toxic people. I’m s, so, so sorry that you seem to have ran into those toxic people, Charlie. I was born onto a pack of them, so I get it. Big bright beautiful blessings to you to guide you on your way to being neither of the prototypes I spoke of above and instead, becoming a Phoenix rising, a master at true self love built from inside out, not outside in…and therefore a master of truly loving the world. Thanks for sharing your writing!

    1. Thank you so much once again for reading and truly understanding this poem…

      Do you like “Nine Inch Nails”? My favorite album that saved me was ‘The Downward Spiral’. It’s considered one of my favorite albums of all time.

      I love this song…

      Nine Inch Nails – Ruiner

      You also experienced toxic people in your life too? what happen?

      1. You are so welcome, Charlie. To tell you the truth, I’m not so familiar with Nine Inch Nails but I will totally give this a listen. As far as toxic people go, while I was never really bullied in school the adults in my life were far from emotionally healthy. I tended to be around a lot of people that were mentally or emotionally abusive. Long story short, I also attracted relationships later in life with the same types of people 4 years until I was able to understand what was going on( the root of the problem not the symptoms) and my part in it…Ive done some intense inner work over the years and have been/am adjusting accordingly 😉 the challenges that I’ve faced has been such a painful blessing. Mary Oliver has a quote that I’m thinking of right now :

        “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift”

        Blessings to you!

  7. Raw and painful to read. I extend a virtual shoulder and another hug! You are so brave and strong to have endured so much and still continue to go through. May you never tire of life, and may joy continue to erase sadness from you.
    -Dajena 🙂

  8. Another heart-wrenching read. You bled so damn well here Charlie. A power-packed piece that needs to be read and re-read just to remind ourselves that all of us are broken in some way and that’s okay.

    1. Thank you Manan. I wrote this to that the whole world can relate to such pain. Life is precious and should not be taken for granted. This poem was a sign of my past and I can put it behind me and move forward.

      Thank you for feeling this poem and feeling the pain. You are a blessing. 🙂

  9. Can I confess something, buddy? I cried when I read this. It was a cathartic experience, simply because the person you see before you was also a victim of bullying. The trauma of my dark middle and high school days stays with me even now. While I’ve never been suicidal (except once, admittedly,) I’ve been in your shoes. However, I want to say to you now: You are NOT alone. EVER. If you ever need help, guidance, or just a sympathetic listening ear, I’m here for you, man. You know how to reach me. Forgive me if this comment is long-winded, but I thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem with us.

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