The End of Poetry Mocks Me of Humiliation

Poetry, the medicine that keeps me sane
anyone takes it away from me I’ll go insane.
At this point in my life, nothing makes sense
stress pierces the air, bad energy super tense.
No one can see how much I’m living in fear
dark mist numbs the heart, death smiles near.
Tired & restless sinking below confusion
a suicide note confines me of conclusions.
I think with a loaded gun pointed at my brain,
fate stares right at me, look its Kurt Cobain.
If I we’re to die today, no one would care,
why should they, I’m just dead as rare.
I know my work will never get publish
I end here with a slow burning vanish.


 

 

Notes: The poem that you are reading was based on recent events.
I was feeling stressed out, depressed, & frustrated, due to the rejection in the publishing cyber-world and the actual world. But hey, that’s part of the publishing industry right? Sometimes I ask myself – if anyone is truly even ready for this type of poetry that I am writing. No, I don’t think so, but, my heart tells me otherwise. I know I should go independent, but that’s also a risky chance. My thoughts we’re thinking negative at the time. My girlfriend though, helped me calm down – I told her what I was feeling. She said to me; “I believe in you”, ‘Don’t give up’; I know someone out there will discover your work, be patient and the time will come. She’s very supportive and encouraging for me to continue on and writing what I love to do. I get this feeling sometimes, hypothetically speaking, what if (knock on wood) I’m not here on this earth anymore, I guarantee you – those publishers from the industry will snatch up my work and finally publish them. That’s life I guess. However, I tell myself to be positive, strong willed, and patient. I like to get out of the house and take a drive to let my mind be free and happy. Any who, just thought I vent and share what I was feeling, but I’m very happy right now, posting what I love to write and share with all of you beautiful, talented & brilliant poets.

 

Copyright © 2015 Charlie Zero

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51 thoughts on “The End of Poetry Mocks Me of Humiliation

  1. I agree. Most people don’t like abstract poetry. But it’s my favorite, and I hardly ever find any … especially not as good as yours. So although you are writing for few, those who love you REALLY love you.

    1. Thank you Hedera.

      Yea, you’re right. Some people don’t like writing that is out of this world, or that goes against traditional poetry. I on the other hand – prefer the underground poetry that’s unconventional and power driven surrealism. 🙂

  2. Publishing access never reflects talent. It involves luck and how kiss ass you are. Poetry and writing that is highly original like yours (this is a good thing) is hard to find a niche for because it’s not safe, and familiar. But that difference is your strength and your genius and your girlfriend is totally right. You are young. It WILL happen. Never give up. Never. We all believe in you so much, that is NO accident ♡♡♡

    1. Awww…Thank you so much sister. 🙂

      I know it will happen. I just have to not think about it, and it will happen naturally. I will never give up…that’s a promise.

      Hey sis, I’d like to share this favorite song of mines from “Nine Inch Nails”

      Nine Inch Nails – Ruiner

      1. I really mean i t. I’m so proud of you. And I think your gf must be a very lovely lady, tell her thank you for being in your life and keeping you safe, I hope to hug you both♡

  3. MOFO! You just write! You are publishing! Right here, right now – you are reaching more eyeballs than a book of poems EVER will. (http://www.themillions.com/2014/07/americans-love-poetry-but-not-poetry-books.html) (http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/topic/poetry-2011-12/) (http://notellpoetry.blogspot.com/2011/09/ease-of-selling-poetry-books.html). Not to say you shouldn’t strive to publish traditionally…but don’t kid yourself – you’re publishing right now. Just Keep Writing.

    1. Really great links you sent me. I will read them more thoroughly. Give me some time to read them and I shall get back to you soon. Don’t worry, I have your email saved. 🙂

      Thank you bro, for being such a supportive friend. 🙂

  4. Oh no.. do not let it burn, Cobain was wrong.. look at Neil Yong instead.. he seem to go on forever… Getting published is another matter.. most writer are not, but most published poets get very few readers… so it’s just money i think.

  5. If I were you, I´d try something different… nothing complete outside of the poetry; but at least one step away… I think everyone could try to write something ‘commercial’ (like, Marvel´s comics), but at the end of the day, you will see you dind´t nothing like they do: you ALWAYS are drawing your own lines, and even more: that´s inevitable.

  6. Charlie this is such a beautiful piece- I love feeling your feelings- it’s like a sea and I’m swimming- it’s gorgeous. You’re the crazy genius pirate and I’m the mermaid splashing and cooing.
    Your girlfriend rocks- I love her. She is right! Don’t give up- never ever. These people do NOT determine your worth or value- they don’t even know you and they are missing out! Who knows what their reasons were- maybe just part of your journey pushing you to a better place- a really really good place that will truly honor and respect your gift- like we all do. Your family of poets that adore and love you and keep coming back for more! Chin up Charlie- you’re already a rockstar In our books ✔️💗💗

    1. Thank you Souldiergirl.

      Your words have brought a smile to me, your support has brought me encouragement to push forward. Thank you so much for everything…you and every poet here are just beautiful souls and gifted spirits.

      From the bottom of my heart thank you millions. 🙂

    1. Thank you Gwenice.

      This poem was me venting and letting out what I was holding in for such a long time.
      I’m glad I let out all my feelings on this poem.

      I’m happy now…so I don’t have to look back.

      Thank you so much again for visiting my page.
      My poems will start to evolve just letting you know…on Monday I will post a new poem…be on the look out. 🙂

  7. Last year I had a commenter tell me my poetry was insipid and had no meaning. It initially hurt until I realized he didn’t understand it, the spirit behind it or the voice that spoke it. I know I will never be published and frankly, I don’t care. We poets write to be read and beard by those who are touched by us in some way. It would be nice if more people read but honestly, many people don’t buy books of poetry. Unless a poet has a good agent or writes for the masses just to be a public voice, not that many people will experience us. That being said, I write for me, to be truthful to my inner vision and not to impress anyone. It is good your girlfriend is supportive because at some point, we all need encouragement. So keep writing with your own voice. Don’t worry about the opinion of the masses. Be true to you, write your soul. Some will hear it and be touched, changed, opened, angered, encouraged. That’s pretty awesome. Be brave and keep your chin up. Other people be damned. Hang in there. Don’t worry about being published. You are still you regardless.

    1. I agree. I realize now…I don’t need a publisher to get my work out there. Fuck the industry.
      I’d rather be the underdog. Thank you so much for your support and advice.

      I’m already publishing my work and that’s here on WordPress. 🙂

      1. You got that right! I know some people also do the Facebook thing and twitter to announce a new post and give the link and that gets a few more viewers. FB gives me the jimjams so I don’t go on it or participate. But I do know quite a few people who do. There are even poetry groups on FB like one for jisei (Japanese Death Poems) so you could find similar writers to read, read you, and discuss. Support is a good thing and sometimes, we just feel so alone.

  8. Your poetry is rare. As i often compare uou to Shakespeare. I feel that is do true. Most people are too small minded to tale in the beauty of your works. But there are us who love what you do. Who absorb it. Keep going you will reach your goal. Patience is key…. unfortunately.

  9. Charlie, I think the amount of incredibly heartfelt and sincere comments from your blogging friends, just goes to show, you have your audience and what an audience!
    Your writing is original, unique and yes genius.
    I know it’s hard, and we all go through lulls, but don’t give up. You’re an amazing poet, and that is not defined by the publishing industry.
    KEEP WRITING! X

    1. Thank you so much Jennifer.

      I will not give up…I have too much to say…I’m only here on earth to see that my message goes through and people will learn from my writings in the near future. 🙂

      Thank you so much, millions of thank you. 🙂

  10. Really honest and raw, again…beautiful expression of emotion.
    You might be right about many people not being ready…but you may also be wrong about it…who knows? there are always those who are ready. Keep calling in your tribe and a publisher will likely be part of it. Just as there are those who believe in you and support you…keep believing in and truly loving yourself. I find that if one doesnt, then all of those voices of love and support in ones life won’t register strongly anyhow. They can only sing back up…your the lead, my friend!
    Such beautiful unique writing!!

  11. Not one size fits all. It’s great to be unique and that’s something that you would appear to excel at in bucket-fulls. Never stop believing. First and foremost, write for yourself…..things have a way of working out when you stop looking or trying. I’m glad I found you.

    1. The process of things one feels is and comes straight from the heart. When I wrote this poem, I was feeling very overwhelmed by life, not getting published. It hit me…because what if I die one day, and then someone publicist then would publish me work and then what? Again, I was feeling so sad, I cried…a lot, but my girlfriend was there to help me be strong and she’s very supportive.

      Hope this helped with the process. 🙂

  12. Charlie my dear friend, this was the first really personal poem of yours I read and I must say it’s as good as it gets. I’ve noticed you like to keep your style and form abstract and I’d be lying if i said I understand every bit of it. You, to me, are like the mad hatter Johnny Depp, intriguing and mysterious as hell. (Oh I am smitten by him, by the way). Never leaving much for the reader to access into your heart, while giving ample cues as to what goes on in your head. I most certainly loved reading this one and I’m slightly biased towards the rhyming kind which i noticed you’ve done here, taking a break from your usual style.
    All in all, a great heart-felt write and I guess all of us feel like this at some point or the other. If we weren’t depressed we wouldn’t be writers, don’t you think? Pain is our staple and like you rightly said, poetry is our cure. Unless we bleed, we don’t feel the synergy of the cosmos with that of our souls. And so we must bleed even if the blood runs dry. Till as long as there is blood in our veins and poetry in our souls.
    And your girlfriend is a great girl. My Hi and hugs to her.
    Here’s one of my favorite quotes by Rumi for you:
    I want to sing like the birds, not caring about who’s listening.
    I’m not much of a “take care, you are a great guy, hang in there, keep the faith” kinda girl. The Rumi quote above pretty much sums up what I’m trying to tell you I guess. 🙂 This is what i wish for you and for all those who are passionate to the hilt about poetry: May poetry continue to touch your life in ways known and unknown. 🙂

    1. Thank you Mana for that great comment. I like to say and share with you. I do feel at times I need to express myself and show to my readers a bit of my human side. Yes, I do like to hide behind cryptic experimentation and dive deep into the human psyche. However, this one is something that does show of what you’ve understood clearly and good. I’m glad this poem really got you. At the time I wrote this poem, I was feeling really, really, sad. I have been trying to get published by real publishers for many years now. Since 2004. No one has giving me a chance. I came close – but that person took my money and never finished my work. 😦 I tried submitting to online publishing submissions and they always reply back with ‘It’s not something we’re ready for’, or ‘ It’s too out there’. I have however self-released chapbooks by around my home town L.A. and Hollywood. I’m currently working on my 3rd chapbook as we speak.

      I love that quote by Rumi. I do want to sing like the birds. I don’t care who is reading as long as I’m creating and doing what I love to do most.

      My girlfriend would love a hug from you. 🙂

      You are a poet of pure blessings and so kind spirit. 🙂 Thank you so much. 🙂

  13. That’s bad. 12 years is a long time. I’m sorry to hear that. And I can feel your anguish. Keeping you in my prayers, may the Muse of Poetry bless you soon. let there be light. ❤

      1. Oh and Yes, thank you for sharing with me. It felt so good to be trusted upon something as personal as this, considering its only a little over 24 hours since we met virtually. I truly appreciate the trust and confidence you have bestowed on this friendship. God bless this friendship.

        1. 🙂 You are a true soul & spirited human being. I’m so glad and happy for us being friends. I would like for us to cherish this virtual friendship as poets and respectable writers that we are. I trust you and yes. Once in a great blue moon, I shall express myself. I’m private person when I comes down to expressing my life or expressing how I feel about the world today. So, if I ever express myself brace yourself because chances are I have something to say about what’s happening and base it on personal observational experiences. 🙂 Bless you my friend. 🙂

          1. Bring it on, Charlie 🙂 . I shall honour your words, till cyberspace do us apart :). Sorry about the pathetic joke . A feeble attempt to make you smile.

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