War on Hugs (or, How I Got to be a Conspiracy Muffin)

Politics, I swear to earth’s nipple…

If I ever hear the P word again –
I’m going to sue the Atlantic Ocean
for unlawful curiosity & reason of ravioli disease.

President Mojo has announced today –
a war on hugs…that’s right
all squirt gun cartels must
dress up their weapons in bikini tops
and arouse the KFC bucket.

The muffin conspiracists
are investigating the death of low calories.
Veganism, GMO, gluten free,
I shave my arm-pits to avoid
time-travel from ever happening.

The war on period
gives my hormonal balance
a bad hang over.

This is how republicans & Democrats
use oil money
to penetrate the systems massive black hole.
We want Juice not justice –
We want cinnamon buns not peace.

Gary Busy
unbuttons Mother Nature’s soil,
a discolored shriveled heart;
he seeks an opportunity
and harasses my empty employee.

Benghazi sounds like bengay.
Terrorist bums bath in Christmas ornaments.

Hooray for the obese testicles,
Hooray for the conservative potato.

Relax you weenie slaves –
it’s only restitution in the state of Manhood.
My prom date is Zoloft.
I’m so eager to hit the G-spot depression –
if it gets wet you must acquit.

A good propaganda omelet
surely you don’t know mean World War 3.

If that’s the case
I’ll tuck the bomb to bed, kiss it,
and smile away for a good night bliss.


Copyright © Charlie Zero

All rights Reserved.

No part of War on Hugs (or, How I Got to be a Conspiracy Muffin) – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

30 thoughts on “War on Hugs (or, How I Got to be a Conspiracy Muffin)

    1. Thank you Tosha.

      This poem had me laughing from beginning to end as I was writing it.

      I don’t know what was going on in my head…but I think I might be going mad.
      This poem is aimed at pop culture and our political system.

      I wanted to make politics feel funny and humorous and not be taken seriously. I think I did it with this piece.

        1. Thank you.

          Did you know that the apple men are trying to spy in our synapses with the I-phones? Be careful with them. And be careful with the trees the apple men are wearing black suits and they know what the UFO want. hahahaha!!! sorry, inside humor of mine. I’m working on another poem.

  1. I think Zoloft is as worthy a prom date as real souls seeing the world for the macabre flying circus it is, can want. What a myriad of scenes, trying you have the phantasma by the proverbial balls and it’s emitting stardust. Runs drills of awakening consciousness Mr Zero, as with all your work, stands on shoulders in eloquent insight, humor, parody and surrealistic vivre ♡ Love the poem, love your mind. You cannot be replicated.

    1. Thank you sis.

      My world is evolving. I can’t stop it…I might go mad soon.

      This piece is me showing the reader how much you can listen to politics and our pop culture.
      Whatever we hear people talk about or say, is what I’m showing the stupidity side of nonsense and adventure.

      I’m making history with political propaganda sounding fun and hilarious! hahahaha!!!!

    1. hahahaha!!! Thank you sir.

      See we need juice. Justice its broken and a waste of dust.

      the obese testicles is a metaphor of the I-phone generation couch.

      Humans are too obessed with their phones. The next couple of years earth will turn into a Wall-E dystopian world.

  2. What a beautiful mess of absurdity oozing with satire out of every orifice. Can honestly say I haven’t read anything like this before and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Nothing better than getting a glimpse inside another person’s mind.

    1. Why Thank you so much.

      You’ll notice when you read my work.
      My poetry always evolves and its poetry that I try to make sure that people have never read anything like this before.

      I want to push and push the imagination and my vision into a whole other level of satire/surrealism/absurdity.

      I’m so happy you enjoyed this this piece. I’m going to post a new one in a bit. Keep an eye out for it. 🙂

  3. Sublimely absurd, with moments of clarity for good measure. 😀

    This is how republicans & Democrats
    use oil money
    to penetrate the systems massive black hole.

    Hooray for the conservative potato!

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