I’m a Smart Ass without Brains on my Cheeks

Oprah Winfrey donated her greatest invention –

vagina enhancement pumps.
They make Rupert Murdoch’s suit
resemble a burnt charcoal,
not to mention the heroin drug trade
by Baskin Robbins.

I know most of you think
that I’m a smart ass –
when in fact, my ass cheek
doesn’t have a brain.

People always assume
that I’m high.
False: I only say hi
if I’m nice or extremely hungry.
In this case
looks can be deceiving right Bill Cosby?

Lately, I’ve been having chest pains.
I went to the doctors
to get some x-rays.

10 minutes – results are in.
just as I suspected
you have an illuminati candle
stuck to your hairy chest.

Whoever votes for Trump –
may god have mercy on your genitals,
unless of course
you’re a dog and gets neutered,
I don’t see why you shouldn’t
look like Alice copper. Now there’s an Idea.



Copyright © Charlie Zero

All rights Reserved.

No part of I’m a Smart Ass without Brains on my Cheeks – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

56 thoughts on “I’m a Smart Ass without Brains on my Cheeks

    1. Thank you sir.

      Yes, I always create and make my work different from all the rest of my poetry. I’m all over the place.

      And speaking of all over the place…I wanted to bring dark humor or sense of humor into this poem. I figured you’d get a laugh at the Vagina enhancements and bill cosby theme. hahahahaha!!!! Did it work?

        1. If you end up getting me into an episode of the Twilight Zone. People would not only lose their minds, but lose a hot dog eating contest to see who wins the national rifle of association. hahahaha!!! That’s what would happen. 🙂

    1. Thank you Phoebe.

      I wanted to bring smiles and laughter into this poetry I wrote. I figured all the readers here might understand the satirical references I made and the sarcastic remarks about one being a smart ass. hahahaha!!!!

    1. Thank you.

      Seriously though, if people vote for Trump this will happen in a matter of seconds.

      The whole point of this poem was to bring laughter and smiles for all readers.
      Hopefully I have succeeded in doing so with this poem.

      Sarcasm fits well for me, unless Pee-wee Herman steps into the dance floor with Borat, then by all means the economic structure has finally come to a good start. hahaha!!!!

    1. hahahaha!!! You’re welcome.

      I needed to make this poem to make people laugh at our culture and what is ironic about everything that’s complete nonsense. I poke fun at those themes. Especially Oprah and Bill Cosby. hahahaha!!!

    1. Thank you.

      My most recent poems have all been different and I always aim for something different in writing styles, structures, and formatting. Although, I break all the rules when it comes down to poetry…so I get very unconventional with writing.

      Dark humor in this poem must make the reader think the absurdities of our pop culture and civilization. 🙂

  1. Ha ha ha! funny yet deep! just a quick note though: i think you re high Charlie..but a different kind of high from the one you mention in your poem..now i say hi! (and thank you for this post)

  2. Thankfully the illumanati candle in your chest burns brightly and your brainless ass sits long enough for you to pen these beautiful pieces. I echo Lonely Author’s sentiments in saying this is fresh and a little outside your usual fare. Awesome, my friend 🙂

    1. Why Thank you sir. 🙂

      I had some sleep-deprivation while writing half of this poem. Then the next day I finished the rest.
      I needed to experiment and keep changing styles and tone. I wanted all the readers to realize how different poetry is evolving and progressing.

      I may have a lot of personalities taking over my neurons. hahahaha!!!!

  3. Yes, please! MORE dark humor. Lovin’ it. There are so many ridiculous things in today’s world that you can poke fun of. 🙂

  4. I laughed so bad at this. I agree with the Trump point! May God have mercy on America if he becomes the president.. Amazing works there btw! You got yourself a fan! 😉

    1. Nice. Thank you so much for reading and liking this poem. I want to make people laugh and think. 🙂

      I followed your page as well. 🙂 I’ll be reading some of your works first thing on Monday. I’m away for the weekend. Talk to you soon. 🙂

      1. Your mission was accomplished then! I laughed wholeheartedly!

        Oh that’s really sweet. It’s all good no worries. I hope you find something you like over there! And enjoy the weekend! 🙂

  5. Loved the line about Trump.
    Congratulations on being Danny Ray’s featured blogger Tuesday. I was his featured blogger too! Maybe you can check out my site especially if you can use a blogging tip or two. That is what I write about. While you are there, please come to my blog party.
    I brought you the link to my About page, so you can read more about my blog.

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