Bad poetry stinks –
the smell of it repulsive,
like Rupert Holmes pina colada song.
My eyes talk to each other
they gossip over dildo-straps
& pork belly.
Oh! Wow! Look at the sea otter
and his T.V. guide of girls gone wild re-runs.
I have studied & analyze the human complex stupidity,
the verdict – Polyamorous infidelity swinger’s party.
Damn! I’ve got to check my brain for some good ass chocolate cake.
Copyright © 2016 Charlie Zero the Poet
All rights Reserved.
No part of Bad Poetry gives me Bad Customer Service – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Love it.
Thank you Tosha.
I wanted to spice up some dark humor and make everyone smile. 🙂
You did a wonderful job
Thank you. Humor is good for the soul. 🙂
True dat
Yep! You know whenever I hear that word ‘True dat’ I think of this video. Don’t ask why but its random and funny.
hahaha!!!!
Very to both😂
You really nailed it with this one. Great job 🙂
Thank you Maja.
I’ve been thinking of doing more dark humor writings in this tone and style.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this poem. Got you laughing didn’t it?
Yes, it did 🙂
This is awesome CharlieZ.
“My eyes talk to each other…” Love this line, brilliant
I agree with Ax. That’s my favorite line too
Everyone’s favorite line and good eye in catching it. 🙂
Thank you my friend.
I’m glad those lines got your attention.
I pictured my own eyes talking to each other about a lot of insane things. Things normal people don’t think of. 🙂 hahahaha!!!
For me. Those lines stuck out the most in this poem. But. All your words have a flair on their own as you create such a fantasy that goes beyond this world my friend.
You are different and weird in a great way
Love your poetry. 🙏
Thank you again Axl.
You are a blessed poet with such an amazing talents and gifts.
Much respects to you as a poet and visionary. 🙂
I try and do my best to keep my readers thinking and feeling weird about imagery. 🙂
🙏➰❤️
Oh! Wow! Look at the sea otter
and his T.V. guide of girls gone wild re-runs.
BEST insult ever for a striving poet. You are relentless, Charlie. ha ha!
Thank you Daisy.
Sometimes I don’t know that I come off insulting in my poems. Most of the time that I wrote these lines are by chance an accident. But I’m so happy and glad you caught this line and you enjoyed it. hahahaha!!!!
I have studied & analyze the human complex stupidity,
the verdict – Polyamorous infidelity swinger’s party. – lol, seems pretty apt.
Thank you my friend.
hahahaha!!! You and everyone else here enjoys this line very much. I think I kept it pretty constant and very satirical in its measure. 🙂 hahahaha!!!!
I don;t have too many pet peeves, but bad poetry is one of them for sure 🙂
Keep smiling!
Thank you so much.
Bad poetry for the satirical speech of creativity. 🙂
🙂 You are welcome Charlie!
I laughed my HEAD OFF with this one C! The last line! And the idea that bad poetry stinks, I mean I know we’re supposed to be polite about bad writing and it’s true, some people are really horrible to others who are just trying but I think you’re just being honest about some type of trite writing versus some with effort underneath. So I applaud this wildly! And I love otters. Oh YES and choCOOLate cake : )
Thank you Sister.
Yes, I love playing with the idea of bad poetry and its satirical idea that live within its content and creativity. I, either was being honest of having an accident of me being too honest and showed myself right out the door. 🙂 hahaha!!! Nevertheless – Chocolate cake with Almond milk is the way to go. 🙂 So glad you enjoyed this poem sis. 🙂
You are SO ADORABLE you know that? For such a Star Man you really hold my heart Asmov xo
I’m in total agreement about the pina colada song!!
Seriously, this is one of your funniest yet, Charlie!
I guess Charlie bad poetry is defined by perspectives.. I mean, those who write it think it is great!.. 🙂 🙂 And I hope you would always leave my poems with a favourable fragrance within your nostrils 🙂
Wishing you a very happy eye talking day to you my friend ❤
Sue 🙂
https://xkcd.com/37/
Short, dark, and packs a punch! I’ll be processing this one for a while. 😉 But, naturally, I love dildo-straps, pork belly, and polyamory minus the infidelity. ❤ Thanks for stretching my brain, C!
Ha.. I just came from Bryan and his Douglas Adams… I got to think of Vogon poetry… :
“Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem’s reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled “My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles” when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.”
Ha ha! Bjorn, are you certain you aren’t from Minneapolis? Perhaps you were instrumental in originating the show of all galactic truth: MST3K! We are not worthy!
I have to agree with Bjorn. Although for a Vogon, you certainly are much better than most…lol. A fun piece indeed!
What the fuck was this? I’ll tell you what this was, it was fucking brilliant. I bow low in deference to a world-class talent. Seriously, Loved. – Moskowitz
Nice to stop by & get a blast of CZ farfdom; yes, so very dark & satiric, yet both biting & probing. Bad poetry does reek, like a dead cat in the sun, like a dead rat in the wall, like raccoon brains on your steel belted wheels–so hey, it’s a good thing that neither your nor I write that kind of poetics; keep after it, kid–your creativity rises out of some mysterious catacomb of cortical swirl; & I dig it.
Bad or good poetry is always in the eye of the beholder. I especially liked the reference here to the Pina Colada Song–one of my most despised songs as well. Anything that makes me smile is automatically good poetry in my book!
I do enjoy your work, CZ – I usually need (and want) to read it a few times to let it sink in. iy always weirdly makes sense!
Oh you made us smile alright 😀
Beautifully written.
Nice!
Hey, I want some good ass chocolate cake. Good one Charlie 🙂
Charlie — this is an ominous indictment of pseudo- and quasi-poetics! You rule!
What you don’t like bad poetry? haha…hey chocolate cake makes everything seem better.
I call it vampire kitten poetry – it often smells of dusty stuffed animals, Italy’s most underrated cheese, and teen spirit. Excellent work.
Is it just me that I find this poem quite funny 😛
Human complex stupidity 😀 and also the good ass chocolate cake
Damn.. that humor. Love this one Charlie
Good work..
Chocolate understands everything ❤
hmmmmm I’ll take the chocolate cake please 🙂
I like the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy references here: the solution to the universe is 42. Wonder if Marvin is still figuring out the perfect cup of tea?
So I have to ask, do you like pina coladas? They do help to contribute to poems sometimes. MST3K….excellent reference. I love Bjorn’s comment on this and no matter how hard I try, I can’t compete. The Old Cat is happy to just sit and blink in amazement.
Oh, and bad poetry gives me gas.
Such splendid horror do you incite,
Like a cockroach in the dark of night.
Bad poetry is like a saw,
Without it my hardened wood would fall.
So squiggle my nostrils with powder and fist,
Flub, wobble, babble and squish.
And just because you remind me of him (Spider Robinson)
When you swim in th sea,
And an eel bites your knee,
That’s a moray.
I needed this piece today. Love it.
Just tape that chocolate cake to my ass!
All kidding aside, I finally got a couple daze off of this crazy shoot I’m on. So, I posted the poem that you inspired me to write. https://queensend.wordpress.com/2016/06/17/johnny-farina/ I linked to your blog at the bottom, as my inspiration. ❤
THANKS FOR MAKING ME HAPPY –TAG YOU ARE IT https://daisywillows.wordpress.com/2016/06/26/happy/
Just dropping in Charlie to say Hi.. Sue
Hi! Sue, sorry I haven’t been around. I will shortly announce my first new book of poetry. Hopefully this week. 🙂
I will make my return very soon. 🙂
Just good to know you are ok.. I have been busy and not visiting as much everyone and was surprised to not see a recent post to catch up on.. Congrats about your poetry book, 🙂 xx
Thank you sue for keeping in touch. I’ve been working really hard on this book and also, working on new poems. I, too – will be catching up with everyone very soon. 🙂 Thank you sue, this poetry book of mine. I hope everyone enjoys it. 🙂
I am sure they will Charlie.
🙂 🙂
I missed you and your crazy mind!
Thank you. 🙂 Say, did you read my last post? I released my very first book of poetry. Check it out and read it. 🙂
Reblogged this on ReBirth: The Pursuit of Porsha and commented:
Me likey!
Hi Charlie the poet:) Really enjoyed this one – provocative, fun, funky, cheeky, playful, and true dat! Now where is that good ass chocolate cake? Lol. Wishing you a beauty-full day full of poetic blessings, Maria Elena
Thank you Maria. Yes, this was an old poem I did. It does play a good humor in poetry.
Since then my writings have evolved.
Your observation is excellent. Chocolate cake sounds good right about now. hahahahaha!!!
Hahaha 🙂 Glad you enjoyed my observation. I enjoyed reading your art! 🙂 Have a blessed weekend!
You have a blessed weekend as well. 🙂
🙂 Thank you
🙂