The Ethel Mertz Saga

The Compassion of the Lettuce
by: Mel Gibson.

 Howard Stern
a sex change

 Zombie wizards
open their
first annual
Volkswagen Blowjob.

Ethel Mertz
does a cartwheel
penalized fart glaucoma.

Clam chowder athlete’s foot,
Arby’s parking lot,
Diet genitalia,
and Gucci booty Pepto-Bismol.

Coming soon to an imagination near you.

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of  The Ethel Mertz Saga – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

77 thoughts on “The Ethel Mertz Saga

  1. Hey beavis, you could cook for an Audi ! Why is Spielberg doing ice creams , sodenberg is doing Logan’s !
    George has Amal, so why worry law ?
    Oh btw macadamia nuts are a fav so that triggered some saliva glands lol
    And Lucy was so much fun.
    This post is so good. It has me hooked.
    Well, I go back and read again , this is fun, Charlie.
    It’s so much intelligence and so much humour. One heady mix.

    1. hahahahaha!!! your interpretation on this is quite funny.

      You know and understood the poem right.
      I ask myself, why is Spielberg making the ice-cream?
      Who knows. Re-reading 3 or 5 times…you’ll get a different imagery and different analysis of the world today.

  2. One of my faves so far. Your satirising of the celebrity epidemic infecting our every sense and your calling out of the elitist lies and cover ups is absolutely razor sharp.

    Although I do like Alec Baldwin . He’s cool

    1. Correct.

      My analysis of ridiculing icons is the perception and obsession people today have on these nonsensical illusion of celerbritism. The real tragedy is happening out here in our world not in some small empty box.

      You nailed it with your insight. I value your mind my friend. 🙂

    1. I’ve been reading a lot of ‘William Burroughs’ and other secretive books that I can’t discuss. I’ll say this – its very funny and weird.

      I hit Hollywood to where it hurts them the most. I would know because I live near Babylon.

        1. No, coincidence just curiosity that hungers for fresh perspective.

          My favorite Burroughs books that I too, have been absorbing a lot.

          – Nova Express

          – The Ticket That Exploded

          – The Soft Machine.

          and of course Naked Lunch.

          To answer your question: Life near Babylon is terrible and a bunch of narcissistic people portraying themselves to be better than everyone else.
          A lot of crazy things happen around here…it’s nuts. Not even joking.

          1. All these lovely titles… *sigh* if only there was a way to lengthen the hours for reading!

            That’s given me an idea. You should write about how what Babylon’s like. An autobiographical poem about the madness that sings in the valley of the dolls…

  3. You’ve got a Hell’s Kitchen cooking up quite the meal, and all served out of the Hollywood Bowl!
    Perhaps Madonna will use the gift card she’s become to grab some tasty take out.
    At least the joint is licensed, so all of the Cumberbatches can stay wet.
    Well done, Charlie!

    1. hahahaha!!! Clever on the Hollywood Bowl. Love it! 🙂

      These high profile celebrities are so consumed and blinded by what’s being handed to them and deceived by the glamour of money and fame. I’m sure they still got some soul left in them. I’d say about 20 %.

    1. hahahahaha!!! Picturing the CIA catching a mixer is something that I don’t know what set my mind to write this or what.

      The imagination is a tricky and so bizarre, we are still trying to understand its logic and origin of why we dream the way we dream and why do we think the way we think. So glad this made you laugh or smile. 🙂

      1. What’s fucking fabulous is that you make your readers think. You don’t hand anything over on a well dressed platter. You’re an artist, and I love you for that.

        1. I always strive to make people think and second guess things around them.

          The way I view poetry is like cinema. The pen is your camera, the paper your lens.
          Once the cameras roll – you create a vision that no one else has seen before. You the poet tell the story, you the poet capture the emotion that the world needs to feel and rethink. The artist feels happy by making a picture.

          alejandro jodorowsky quotes (I rather be poor than to sell my soul).

  4. I have to say, I’m really diggin’ this cycle of new poems. They’re the real deal, man, and they’re what they world needs right now. There have been many works that target and challenge mass media culture, but none so clearly and brilliantly attack it with satire and biting humor. As I’ve said before, you’re on a roll, dude! Fantastic work as always, and I’m endlessly fascinated by this new direction your poetry is taking. 😀

      1. Yes, I know Charlie, Have you ever heard the term ‘Cooking the Frog?’ the expression is being used by Western Politicians to describe the way they are taking peoples freedoms away from them without them registering alarm..
        The Frog is placed in water, and you gradually raise the temperature, and it doesn’t realise it is being cooked, so remains inert until its too late..
        But you already figured this.. 🙂
        Keep smiling Charlie. and doing what you are doing, in opening a few more eyes here and there my friend..
        Take care..
        Love and Peace sent your way..
        Sue 🙂

  5. Charlie,
    mixed thoughts about your poem:
    (+) you name-bomb famous people
    this is a safe thing to do since they are isolated from your immediate world
    (+) easy to be boisterous about other people’s shortcomings
    (+) humor is turning you into a bully

    1. Micheal,

      It’s called humor and satire.
      I don’ mean it as literal or be mean about things.

      No humor turns anyone into a bully.
      I’m just being imaginative and creative and pushing the boundaries.
      I think you’ve missed the whole point of my writing.

      But, I value and respect your opinion. You’ve always been a good friend.

  6. Charlie,
    you are wrong about the connection between humor and bullying
    the guilty party chuckle at their sadistic superiority
    the victim is the butt of their humor
    I think that you should appreciate positive energy/express positive energy
    you should appreciate positive people and share them with your readers
    leave all that garbage behind and move upwards
    I appreciate your friendship !

Be Anonymous!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s