Lamas Dipped in Vagisil & Amish


Harpo Marx used a pizza wagon
to lure Ariel, John Hinckley,
& Lamas.
He takes them home
for soup recipes
and creates a dipping sauce
called: “Vagisil & Amish.”
Cosmo Kramer
you penny pincher scallop –
make love to the wall pervert.
Macaulay Culkin
does impressions
of KFC & Jheri curls.
Just ask Mariah Carey –
she’s a marine rectumologist,
she’s Danny DeVito’s pacifier.

Raphael wiggum,
are you rabieist? No!
Good, because imitating
Tupac Shakur is considered bronchitis.
Pineapples & Sharon Tate
tough to choose, I’ll pick…

Meredith brooks vs. Cinnamon toast crunch.
I’d love to see a Dave Chappelle skit –
involving Sammy Davis Jr. as Doctor Satan the pimp
and Mickey Rourke as Ursula the paparazzi manwhore.

You’re Welcome.




Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Lamas Dipped in Vagisil & Amish – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

52 thoughts on “Lamas Dipped in Vagisil & Amish

  1. Your humor gets better and better. It’s clever too that ‘s why it’s so much fun to read. Your massive knowledge of the ins and outs of these people you tell us about is amazing.
    This tickled my brain. Definitely needs another read maybe more.

    1. hahahahahaha!!!! Using celebrities names and blending them into a creative conversation plays with so much brain functions that it’s almost hard not to read or look away. hahahaha!!!

      Also, the ending to the last line: “You’re Welcome.”
      Indicates that this poem is the last of the experimental poetry I’ve been posting.
      This Wednesday my poetry will take a different turn. 🙂

      1. I am sorry to see these pieces end. I had so much fun reading them.
        Well, looking forward to something new from you. I know you never disappoint. Your poetry is like cross over cinema.

    1. LOL!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!

      Why thank you my friend. I try and do what I can to make laughter a priority.

      Without humor the world would not make any sense. It’d be flat out boring. hahahaha!!!!

      It’s sad and unfortunate that these experimental humorous poems I’ve posted will come to an end. The last line indicates it so “You’re Welcome.” To show that another side of my writing will come this Wednesday. Things will shift. 🙂

    1. 🙂 Don’t worry. I’m sure later on in the future things will return again with a new humorous fun and action. hahahahaha!!!

      The new style will make you use the dictionary and you’ll make your head scratch deeper than you can ever imagined. 🙂

  2. Of course I adore this poem. It continues the Hollywood humor you have been tickling us with recently. However, I think see a next generation emerging. The pendulum swings, and perhaps Hollywood is not always a joke. Two words take my hand and lead me to the forbidden fruit…. “Sharon Tate”.

    1. These quotes will sum up what I feel towards Hollywood yet because I’ve experienced and known and seen a lot.

      “It’s [Los Angeles] mostly full of nonsense and delusion and egomania. They think they’ll be young and beautiful forever, even though most of them aren’t even young and beautiful now.”
      ― Christopher Hitchens

      “Most of the successful people in Hollywood are failures as human beings.”
      ― Marlon Brando

      “I blame Hollywood for skewing perspectives. Life is just a big romantic comedy to them, and if you meet cute, happily ever-after is a forgone conclusion.”
      ― Jonathan Tropper, This is Where I Leave You

      “Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.”
      ― Marilyn Monroe

      “In Hollywood if you don’t have a shrink, people think you’re crazy.”
      ― Johnny Carson

      “Life in the movie business is like the beginning of a new love affair: it’s full of surprises, and you’re constantly getting fucked.”
      ― David Mamet, Speed-The-Plow

      “Life in the movie business is like the beginning of a new love affair: it’s full of surprises, and you’re constantly getting fucked.”
      ― David Mamet, Speed-The-Plow

      1. Glad i took the time to read rhis comment. I know you don’t buy into the media/celeb hype. It’s just on your doorstep 😣🤔😂😐🤤🙃😜

  3. Jheri curls! The audacity. My mother and aunt used to love jheri curls back in the day. Everyone is embracing their natural curls these days. Also, the Amish are rumored to be a frisky lot, which means that they will be needing to be dipped in that over the counter preparation. Tee hee

  4. Charlie,

    our local Dollar Store sells bootleg Vagisil & Amish
    it says on the box that it is not “full strength”
    yeast infections in 2017 have become a force
    much more formidable than in the past
    a soak in Epsom salts
    before you apply
    the Vagisil & Amish
    works wonders

    1. hahahahahaha!!! LOL!!!!!

      Love your comment! Michael, you made my stomach hurt, in a good way.
      You have a sense of humor that I’ve always loved and admire.

      Thank you for this comment. I didn’t think society sells bootleg Vagisil at a local dollar store. hahahah!!!

    1. Thank you, R & D.

      hahahaha!!! Love your comment. I had a feeling you would like what read.

      Hope you found this poem and my other poems funny and hysterically humorous.

      They’ll be more of these poems soon. I’m currently working on something that’s more out there and trippy as hell.

      I’ll be heading over your blog and read & comment your latest. 🙂

      I’m currently following your page. 🙂

  5. I’m finally getting around to these! Sorry for the delay, buddy, but I’m glad I finally had the chance to read them. Holy cow! My list of favorites by you is ever-increasing. 😀 I enjoyed this one immensely, and it’s as if your mind is a sponge, taking any and everything that comes its way, and then formulating it into a Technicolor canvas of ideas and commentary the likes of which no one has ever read before. Excellent work, my friend! Your poetry just keeps getting better and better. 🙂

  6. I would love to see Meredith Brooks go against Cinnamon Crunch and poop out Cheerios. I swear, I’m digging your poems man. I think I want to write an imitatio of one comeing these few weeks…

  7. Ha ha love the chronic reference to so not into the celeb world so sometimes stuff like that goes way over head. Holly wood is not something i buy into or follow but I love your sense of humour

Be Anonymous!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s