If Semicolon Werewolves Recite Chef Boyardee


If – Russia hadn’t drank all the Dr. Pepper
my gastrointestinal tract would not have resembled
the 80’s version to David Hasselhoff.

If – Cantaloupe terrorist recite Victoria secret catalog;
Will Ferrell might claim bankruptcy on his hairy chest.

If – Tommy Wiseau dressed up like Rupaul
self-proclaim ‘Dentyne Ice’.

If – Maroon 5 makes another hit sitcom;
consider Bruce Willis a Neanderthal rodeo clown.

If – My pancreas can think of something clever
in the next 5 minutes, I’ll retire
from VH1 classic.

If – Poetry cuts down on calories
we should see improvements with Wayne’s World
and aurora Illinois.

If – Marvel’s Avengers Infinity War
makes me cry; please gather around an intervention
for the sake of Folgers Coffee.

If – Semicolon werewolves ate hootie & the blowfish.

If – Jack Daniels strip club was bigger than Chef Boyardee.

If – Gene Simmons stops being an asshole;
there’s a possibility that Chuck Norris hands could be used
as toilet paper.

If – Andy Dick lotions Satan’s abs;
sprinkle a dash of Barbara Walters.

If – Henry Rollins ever gave up on birth control pills;
his burrito supreme will shrink his masculinity.

If – Borat hi 5’s Jesus, you’ll have your faith
restored back to 1699.

If – Weird Al Yankovic parodies CSI:  Miami;
I’ll give myself hot flashes just for the irony.

If – Deadpool serenades me with Chimichangas;
well then call Jules Winnfield and have us
some quarter pounder with cheese.







My friend ‘aFrankAngle‘ told us the poet community
to write an ‘IF’ challenge and I accepted
and here’s the result. Hope you all enjoyed.

76 thoughts on “If Semicolon Werewolves Recite Chef Boyardee

                1. hahahaha!!! Right. hahahaha!!! It wouldn’t surprise me that Chuck would. 🙂 LOL!!!!

                  It’s awesome talking to you. My apologies for my late response. Been busy writing and coming up with some great material that I will be posting next Monday. I can’t wait. 🙂

                2. It is a great song. You saw the music video to it right?

                  Okay, type in on YouTube the song: “Running” by Nine Inch Nails. Trust me, I think you’ll love that song. There’s something about that song makes me feel like I’m in a world that’s either empty or on a beach that’s lonely.

                3. It sounds to me, combined with the music, as if he’s into a secret or something, and he’s dropping some hints in a playful way, knowing the secret isn’t very pleasant, so it’s better to take it lightly.
                  Maybe you can call that sad and hopeful at the same time, yes.

                4. Here’s a list of Industrial electronic bands I recommend you checking out.

                  1. Throbbing Gristle

                  2. Front 242

                  3. skinny puppy

                  4. Front Line Assembly

                  5. Ministry

                  6. KMFDM

                  7. Gravity Kills

                  8. Meat Beat Manifesto

                  9. Coil (band)

                  10. Atari Teenage Riot

                  11. Sneaker Pimps

                  Enjoy all these musician electronic bands.

                5. Thanks! No, I don’t know them, except for Ministry. I’ll check them out.

                  I’m more into sounds like that of Sima Deep when it comes to electronic music. You can type it on YouTube and find dozens of sets. They are all excellent, if you like this kind of music.

                  I’d also recommend two of my most beloved tracks.
                  Traumprinz – Believe
                  Dyson – Kalipo

                6. You like Ministry? Awesome!

                  So, I took a good listen of the electronic bands you recommended me.

                  I really loved and enjoyed listening to:

                  Sima Deep its very relaxing and soothing. The music takes me to a whole new world of just dancing and enjoying life for what it is.

                  Also, Traumprinz – Believe was a sensational song. I felt like I was at a rave or concert. Surrounded by people who love music just for the love of life and how music heals us all.

                  And last Dyson – Kalipo that song is so good and I got inspiration from it. You have great taste in electronic music.

                  Okay, my turn to introduce you to another electronic band. You’ll love them.

                  Blanck Mass – Rhesus Negative

                  Blanck Mass – Please

                  Blanck Mass – The Rat

                  Blanck Mass – Silent Treatment

                  Blanck Mass – D7-D5

                  Listen to these songs from Blanck Mass.

                  Did listen to the songs I sent you to listen? What you think.

                7. I loved skinny puppy! They have a style of their own, dark and vibrating. I haven’t listened to the rest because life interfered, but I will.

                  Good to hear that you were inspired by Dyson. I’ve used it too as a writing background. Yes, these djs are all about living in the moment, dancing and not giving an eff about what’s happening outside the club. I don’t know about others, but I love this piece of eternity.

  1. Well done, dear Charlie! I love this because it is as funny, possibly as a funny bone is funny, and/or another funny. That’s the way it is with your poetry, Charlie. It’s like “matryoshka” (матрёшка) dolls. One nests inside another that is nested inside another, within, yet, another, another, another, etc! The meanings do not stop with the world of words.

  2. Charlie,

    I never got past the word “Semicolon”
    I started thinking who would have permission to touch semicolons
    probably females are free to touch semicolons
    but males would never be free to touch semicolons
    and that thought set me off
    on the Sexual McCarthyism of 2018
    (and I thought that I would never be witness to “McCarthyism” in my lifetime)
    yes Charlie, “Sexual McCarthyism”
    accused and found guilty without trial
    shamed in public
    robbed of wealth
    booted from hard earned employment
    I say, “pull out the large magnifying glass and permit us a closer look
    at everyone. should be interesting.”

    1. Michael,

      Never had the word “IBM”.
      I began to think about Gandhi
      and his belief in Darwinism magic,
      perhaps he wanted to resurrect Octavo Paz –
      But the truth, Ginsberg mimic the ultra-eye
      and sent me off
      on a cyber-punk manifesto of 2018.
      (And I thought I had never witnessed Neuromancer in my life.
      Yes Michael, “Neuromancer computers”
      hacked into the future of our history books.
      The past glitched
      from clairvoyant ACCESS mirrors
      and its nearby techno utopia of hackers.

    1. No it isn’t. I did extensive research just to see if there was, but no. Although, now that you bring this to my attention. I think I just started something. 🙂

      That would be a cool name for a band…very experimental noise/avant-garde jazz/harsh noise electronics.

  3. LOL …. great one Charlie … and I didn’t need a dictionary! 😉 … You not only met the Challenge, you did it in your style!!! My favorite line was the one with Bruce Willis. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Jan.

      The poem was a last minute free style/stream of consciousness writing feel.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the language and the thought process that went with it. Plus, I needed to try something different for once. I’m glad I wrote this.

  4. Wow, you never post on Fridays, so I didn’t even see this until just now. Bravo, my friend! Awesome poem. Poetry with power is back, and you’re leading it with guns out and banners waving! You clearly have the pulse on what’s going on. You observe and everything you see and filter in through in such a way that is both compelling and reflective of the times in which it is written. This is one of my absolute favorite works by you. Thank you for gracing us with its presence!

  5. Hello my friend. Love this. Happy Valentines. Dropped by to wish you because I’d like one of your poems to be my valentine. Works?

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