Despondency Act 8: Panicxiety


ripped open its fear;
took a peek outside –
it crawled back in.



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73 thoughts on “Despondency Act 8: Panicxiety

  1. And that, is the perfect description of how fears and phobias are maintained. The feared thing is avoided so the fear never gets a chance to be disproven.

    Absolutely love this personification of agoraphobia.

    1. The aim was triggered by one’s own fear of the outside world and its people.
      How can one surrender to the beautify of around us?

      Thank you for really seeing this in such detail and knowing how others feel the same.

        1. Well, I could go out and about and enjoy fresh air and all. But when the fear kicks in me then I just go back comfortably to my home and feel safe inside.

          Thank you. I do my best to try and reflect what everyone else feels.

    1. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been going through this disorder for a long time now.

      Some of us in this planet of ours lives with this feeling and we’re so afraid to go out in public.
      Why? It’s the fear within us that keeps us in and away from the outside world.
      Is this how I feel as well? Yes.

      I’m glad you can relate, Deborah.

    1. Thank you, Frank.

      Writing this one really hit home and for anyone else feeling the connection to its depth.

      Here’s a quote.

      “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

    1. My apologies for the delay. Yesterday my girlfriend and I, we’re spending lots of time together and with family.

      The next other post is Thursday. 🙂

      Thank you so much for viewing this and knowing how much one deals with such a conditioned.

          1. I haven’t given the ‘revelry anthology’ a thought. Your the first person to ever bring it up to me.

            Well, after I stop at 13. I’ll be posting another new anthology that I have been working on back to back with this short poems. Their very experimental and dadaism style. So, I’ll be posting those after these. It’s going to be awesome! If that can also be a revelry anthology?

                1. You are welcome, Holly.

                  I feel somewhat of a connection to human emotions out there and I try my best to translate everything that goes on with humane life and put it as truthful as I can to make everyone feel safe and never alone.

    1. Thank you, Bojana.

      Had to analyze and dig deeply within and realize the immense fear of the outside can have a hold on one’s courage of seeing and breathing the air that our planet gives us.

      The next couple of the post will feel much darker. I’m absorbing everything around and listening to personal conversations one has with one another. And also, how I personally feel within.

    1. Thank you, Dale.

      Trust me…you don’t ever want to experience phobias.

      Here’s a quote:

      The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. ~ H. P. Lovecraft

    1. Thank you so much. 🙂

      What I take from all this is based just solely on personal experience and the hopes of connecting everyone to its core relation of how or if others feel exactly or much deeper. I’d say, its all in the same.

      Nevertheless, the next couple of my post will feel much darker. I’m stopping at Act 13. After that…I’ll be creating another new series of pure experimental head scratch short poems just like these. 🙂

      1. Really, Charlie, I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next. This series is very good, and very different from your usual cryptic style, which is unique anyway. I’m sure you’ll surprise us!

        1. Bless you, basilike a million times. 🙂

          I’m still writing my cryptic poetry so I’m saving everything for last. 🙂

          Tomorrows post will feel darker and relatable to how humans in general treat animals with cruelty.

      1. Yes, it could be the other way around. For me it is. I am inexplicably afraid from only one thing: the dark in the house during the night. I guess that is way I sleep with some lights on.
        I am not afraid of the dark when I am outside the house.

        Agoraphobia… our response to the open spaces.

        This poem is so beautiful Charlie, that all I want to do now is to enjoy it.

        Thank you for sharing.
        Sending you lots of blessings,

        1. It’s best sometimes to sleep with the lights on in the house. It brings comfort knowing we aren’t afraid of the dark and the light can guide us to safety.

          The fears that conflict us is primal.

          You welcome my friend.

          Stay tune for tomorrows post. 🙂

  2. Charlie, my friend… I LOVE this! I suffer with anxiety and, though I’m managing it well now, there are times I can’t stand being in crowded places and I literally just want to hurry up and go home. I think with all that’s going on in the world now, I really find comfort just staying inside the safety of my four walls. It’s like a turtle. Every now and then I’ll poke my head out to see the world around me, but when it gets overwhelming, I go back in my shell. It’s definitely a struggle and you wrote of that struggle so cleverly and with so few, but impactful, words. Really enjoyed this one!

    1. If I may quote you:

      “I can’t stand being in crowded places and I literally just want to hurry up and go home.”

      This right here is exactly how my girlfriend and I, feel lots of times.

      The world is a crazy place and sometimes people get so angry all the time that they tend to lash out at people for no reason or a good reason.

      The comfort of home brings a soothing relief and away from people.

      I’m glad you enjoyed this post very much. It makes my heart feel happy knowing how my work is reaching out and connecting with everyone who feels everything I feel. 🙂

      Tomorrows post will really be darker.

      1. Oh you said it perfectly, Charlie. The world is a crazy place. It’s even scary to be out driving now! We’re having so many road rage incidents where I live and people are getting killed over really petty things. So, yeah, being home is much more soothing to the mind than being surrounded by a bunch of angry souls. Totally feel you on that one.

        I’m really enjoying your posts and it feels good to know that I’m not alone in what I feel and think about life and the world around me. Keep up the amazing work, my friend! Looking forward to tomorrow’s post! 😁

        Hope you have a great night!!

        1. That is sad and messed up.

          Road rage here in L.A. is pretty bad and awful at times. People go so far as to get out of their cars and fight that person. I’ve seen it many times.

          I too, enjoy reading your post…and I will be heading there to your page soon. 🙂

  3. Ah! Them demons. Very succinct and well worded. You make your point well , Charlie.
    I think we all can connect one way or the other.

    1. Thank you, Yassy.

      What is happening in the world now. I think we needed this message to be said and done. Your right, we all connect to this and i think it makes anyone feel great when they read it. We’re not alone.

    1. I told you. 🙂

      When I started the series I was going through something personal. And I felt inspired to write these short micro poems and make them relatable as when someone reads them, they say…ah! I can relate to this. And I started writing more and more and yeah here I am posting them and understanding the true meaning of connection and how others feel the same way.

      1. Isn’t that what poetry should be about? Not meaning to bash your other stuff, but if it doesn’t make sense to anyone, not even the person who wrote it, what’s the appeal? Not a rhetorical question. I’m interested.

        1. To answer your question:

          “Not meaning to bash your other stuff, but if it doesn’t make sense to anyone, not even the person who wrote it, what’s the appeal?”

          My love for experimental poetry is the language and how words can take the reader to other unknown places, things we don’t fully understand but find beauty within those characteristics.

          1. I can understand that in a way. There’s a lot of poetry I don’t understand because the allusions are over my head but the beauty of the language alone carries it for me. It’s a failing on my part if I don’t understand it because the poem has a meaning and other people understand what the poet is saying even if I don’t. Your poetry is different in that it doesn’t have a meaning. No matter how hard you look, it’s just random words and the enjoyment is in the words for their own sake. I find it much harder to get the same depth of reaction from this kind of experiment, but again, I think that is a failing of mine because other people obviously get something out of it.

              1. Well, possibly. I think the Bible is pretty clear really. What is interesting is the King James version which deliberately set out to be a work of art not religion.

  4. I know the feeling of wanting to creep back inside Charlie.. The More I take peek outside, the More I need to look within.. ❤

    Loving your new style my friend… 🙂 Sending special Hugs 🙂 your way 🙂

      1. Yes, I totally understand that Charlie.. Remember my friend, we are Eternal Beings!… And this shell is only a temporary meat suit, which gets bogged down in the emotional baggage of this duality..
        Hold that love you have inside of your sensitive Being, and know LOVE conquers ALL..
        Much love 💙

  5. The words are perfect for the condition! I really think I will get a lot more out of your longer pieces, after reading your micro poetry!

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