Despondency Act 10: Now Nothing


Once long ago –
I imagined reaching
beyond stardom;
sadly though, nothingness
is all I ever admire.



Copyright © 2019 Charlie Zero the Poet

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81 thoughts on “Despondency Act 10: Now Nothing

    1. Thank you, Bojana.

      True fact: I wrote this when I was in a state of depression and really down. Awhile back, my dad told me to my face that I’ll never be anything. And he sarcastically laughed about it and mocked me.

      I showed this to my girlfriend and she hugged me and told me everything will be okay, don’t listen to him.

    1. Thank you so much.

      Just when I thought I climbed the top, suddenly, I went straight down the bottom.

      This is based on reality where people or family members that tell you things to put one down, don’t listen to them be strong and rise above it.

  1. So wistful, beautifully poignant , a yearning expressed , a quintessential need surmised and then dismissed in the most soothing way , resigned and yet happy , the way of life.

    1. Thank you, Yassy.

      A need to never giving up on anything that one does in life. Even if you’re own family members mock or laugh at your because you don’t be anything in life. That is what happen to me and why this poem became what it is.

      1. You are welcome, Charlie.
        I think the people who hurt you the most are your own family , that has happened to me too so I can understand what you say.
        But you are your own person and be proud of who you are. Doesn’t matter what them thinks lol 😂
        I think you are an accomplished person, in more ways than one. Bravo, Charlie, I don’t know about your family but I sure am glad I know you. Cheers , my dear buddy.

          1. I think I can feel it in your spirit , it’s that positivity that I like about you. You permeate awesome vibes. It’s like I can see you sittin in the universe smiling.
            Thank you for being there, Charlie. It’s good 😊

    1. Thank you, Deborah.

      I wish my own father sees me as such. Unfortunately, his comments hurt deeply in my heart.
      My frustration and stress produced this poem.

      If you’ve experienced anything like this with your own family or friends, please do share.

    1. Thank you, Holly.

      Th reasons for writing this was clear as day. What I experienced when my own father told me that I’ll never be anything. It hurt immensely…and I cried and felt very empty. My girlfriend was there to comfort me and tell me that everything will be okay and I will be something and don’t listen to your father.

      I hope this poem can connect with others if they’re own family members or friends said things like this to them.

        1. Thank you, Holly.

          There are many times when its hard to avoid undertone negative remarks from a family member. Strength within and to avoid it completely has to keep be striving forward and not hold me back from anything.

  2. Oh, Charlie…. I’ve been away for such a long time and to come back to this…. I was fortunate to read all 10 [so far] acts of Despondency. I take this as a welcoming gift! 🙂 And, maybe not so ‘sadly’. ‘Nothingness’ is a blessing, once we come to realize it! 😉 Thank you, my friend!

    1. Yes, a welcoming gift of something different from my previous poems. Some honest straight forward truth that anyone can relate to and share.

      Nothingness is a blessing and I know good things will come out from the other side. 🙂

      You are welcome, Marina.

    1. So true. Love your answer.

      Do me a favor, check this video out and listen to Trent’s voice.

      Nine Inch Nails – Now I’m Nothing/Terrible Lie (Live Lollapalooza 1991)

      One of my favorite songs and you’ll know why by the title and the way he sings it.

  3. This one hits me to the core, Charlie…

    Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted a career in music. For a while, I thought I would be a superstar. But, instead of grabbing those stars, I was grabbing nothing… or so I thought. Sometimes that “nothing” is actually something. It may just be too small for our eyes, or others’ eyes, to see it, because it’s still growing into something great. But, if you remember that you define your success and not others, you’ll go far.

    Don’t give up reaching beyond those stars, my friend. Something tells me you’re closer to something great than you realize. 🙂

    1. The feeling is mutual. I too, wanted secretly wanted to be in a rock band. It never fruition so destiny took me in a different direction which is writing of course.

      You’re right…nothingness is something.

      Life has many surprises for all of us.

      And its when we at least expect it.

  4. I’m so sorry to read that about your Dad. I was just saying to a friend the other day that family can be our best friends and our worst enemies. And having the approval of parents is so inherent in us. It’s too bad your father bought into how the world so often sees success…imho, cultivating a kind heart is the greatest success there can be, and you have certainly done that! Will be hoping and praying that he will understand that one day!

    1. Yes. All families of the past are old school dinosaurs who still have the traditionalist mindset of what success means in their eyes. It’s all bullshit.

      Don’t you also hate it when parents try to compare you with others? and by others their success.

      They have no right to compare or say otherwise on how we live our lives.

      Everyone has a path and we live our lives differently then our cousins or nephews do.

      1. It is really heart breaking when it happens. It’s sad, that they are trapped in that thinking.
        I have been fortunate that my parents were not like that, and I really feel for anyone who has experienced this.
        The other thing is that sometimes it is jealousy…when they see someone go a different path, one that makes them happy, but they didn’t have the courage themselves to do it.
        Keep doing what you love Charlie!

          1. Jealousy is a killer! There’s a Scriptural proverb, “Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming,
            but who can stand before jealousy?” and it’s so true. And tragic.

            You don’t need their approval Charlie. You are better off for not being trapped in their thinking. I feel sorry for them.

  5. We all come from nothingness and wait patiently to go back to Everything.

    Beautiful sentiments Charlie. Sometimes you are all heart and soul 💋💋

    1. This does sound like giving up…although, I felt at the moment as I wrote this with my own father laughing at me and said to my face that I’ll never be anything in life. And he says this in a sarcastic and mocking way. That is why I wrote this and I felt hopeless and extremely depressed then.

    1. Thank you.

      This is based on true events.

      All these ‘Despondency series’ I’ve been posting at factual true events of what I go through and went through.

      My last 13th post will be up this Wednesday and I know you and everyone else will really love it.

      Plus, next week I’ll be launching a new series of short experimental weird poems. 🙂

      1. I’m glad you could make something of your experiences, and I’m sorry for the despondency you felt!

        I’m looking very forward to reading it as I took another look at the rest of the dispondecy series and it’s really deep and beautiful, I love the way you write!

        Goodluck on your future writings and thank you for sharing your view AMD feelings!🖤

        1. It’s quite alright.

          The reason for these ‘Despondency series’ is so people from all walks of life can relate to it and never feel alone because we are all going through it together.

          Thank you. And I will be reading more of your works in a bit. 🙂

          1. Which is very admirable, as no one is happy or content at all times, and will also make one feel better about themselves. Social media has created a overly false perfect expectation of living happy lives, only showing “perfect” moments, many people feeling inferior when their lives don’t meet the same standard.

              1. I have actually seen this videos before, it’s very interesting, but I will definitely give it another view, as it would be good to get a refresh!

                Thank you, I have almost forgotten about this video!

                1. I just went to go and watch it. It made me very sad to view. People honestly miss out on the best time of their lives as well as neglect those around them by doing that.

                  Yes we are all guilty of perhaps just taking a selfie or answering a message sometimes, I won’t pretend to be perfect, but to live in a virtual plain while outside in reality with real people. I always try to keep my phone away when with people so that they know they are important to me. I wish more people were aware of this. Thank you for sharing!

                  If you have any more videos, please feel free to share! I enjoy learning new things as well as discussions.

                2. Glad you loved the video. That very same thing happens when my girlfriend and I, go out and her and I, love observing families and couples. They are on their phones a lot and zero communication. We laugh and tell each other how sad and rude they are with one another. Or, have they all run out of things to talk about???

                3. I’ve done that many times, myself. It’s sad to see, as there are so many interesting things that happen around a person, and they miss it all!
                  Well if they never do anything other than be one their phones then they will never have anything to talk about, that’s the problem! They are creating their own feedback loop!

                4. It’s because they’ve stopped doing things in their lives and now have nothing new to talk about as they no longer experience anything. It’s sad really. If everyone just put their phones down a bit more AMD loved in the moment and perhaps moved passed mindless chit chat, they could actually create experiences they’d want to share, or learn new things!

    1. This poem was based on real life. My dad was very negative towards my life choices. He always brought me down and at one point. Said I would amount to nothing. That broke me completely and til this day it still stays in my head. It hurts me and I cry from time to time.

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