Mockumentary Events


Breaking News!

Espionage veto
discussed cereal rehabilitation
and bullshit hot toilet syndrome.

Morning testicle sex!

Culture ‘Heisenberg’ signing robots
for obscenity poem.
massaged my carnivore.

Monday fungal wars
declared by
droowit-dingo seizure.

Steve nasalcrock
 mockumentary marshmallow emphysema.

The wizard-suicidelitis
Amish enchilada.

Has 2+2 solved vegan pubic cleavage?

Do humans speak gruesome Caucasian?

Epileptic cabbage
asshole dollar symptom
Dick Tracy.


Copyright © 2019 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Mockumentary Events – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.  Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.




85 thoughts on “Mockumentary Events

  1. Lovely to see this amazing News Bulletin in my reader this morning Charlie, and your reporters delivered some topical excrement of the Norovirus that is spewing forth these days.. Made me chuckle.. and I needed that..
    Take care and happy to catch this post today… Hope all is well with you..
    Special Hugs.. ❤

    1. Thank you sue. Missed you my friend. 🙂

      I think this satire poem was meant to be called out on how ridiculous news is today.
      And the overall, hilarious reporting newsreaders feed their audience.
      When I wrote the poem I put myself behind the teleprompter
      and thought about (what would news actually sounded)
      if it was told from a poets point of view. Sure enough, I spewed exactly such.
      Once in a great blue moon when I hear news I start to laugh right away
      and listen very carefully in newsreaders speaking dialogue
      and I go back and say; ‘what if they said this’ and it would be funny as hell. hahahahaha!!!!

      Hugs from me to you my friend. 🙂 All is well and good on my end. 🙂

    1. Well, Bojana 2 things.

      1. Where did I come up with that line? One day after the next, I caught myself laughing at the news for no apparent reason. It was their mannerism of how newsreaders we’re conducting their reporting.

      2. I replied to sue explaining the reason of this hysterical satire poem. 🙂

      “I think this satire poem was meant to be called out on how ridiculous news is today.
      And the overall, hilarious reporting newsreaders feed their audience.
      When I wrote the poem I put myself behind the teleprompter
      and thought about (what would news actually sounded)
      if it was told from a poets point of view. Sure enough, I spewed exactly such.
      Once in a great blue moon when I hear news I start to laugh right away
      and listen very carefully in newsreaders speaking dialogue
      and I go back and say; ‘what if they said this’ and it would be funny as hell. hahahahaha!!!!”

      Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

      LOL!!!!! I wanted to spread good humor for this Monday and everyone laughing out loud.

      I disappeared because I was writing a lot new material and trust me its going to be worth it. 🙂

        1. Poetry keeps us all busy our minds have us create gold. 🙂

          I’m glad this made you laugh and see through what news and how news should really be reported. 🙂

          I should write something like this more often but I can’t because I got other projects I’m working on. 🙂

  2. …………………………..Charlie,

    It is possible that you ate too many pistachios.

    your approach to land the plane seems odd.
    readers at the control tower are confused.
    the naked roles of premeditation and spontaneity,
    how best to externalize the inner Charlie ?

    the impulse to devise a method to create poetry upon demand,
    multiple trips to Costco for “Inspiration to Order”
    anything to upset the intimacies of reality

    God Bless all the Caucasian Retirement Closets across America !!!

    1. Pistachio land
      teased ‘mark wahlberg’
      as a flotation device.

      The approach was too spontaneity
      and prematurely done
      by the smurfs.

      That’s how propaganda
      first declared itself diabetic.
      It wasn’t bible chocolates
      who took over Michigan –
      it was Lavender
      & soy –
      pretending intimacy with Rockefeller.

      Did you know Costco god upset
      his own control Caucasian reality?
      It was from the membrane
      he birthed and
      closed his case against Peanut butter jelly time.

      America is long overdue –
      just ask – pauly shore & marty mcfly.

      1. You are welcome, Charlie.
        This is the best piece of reporting I ever seen a journalist do , you are super talented, this is absolutely the best best creative work , I am totally besotted with this piece.
        Thank you for the laughs , Charlie 😊🌝🙂

        1. I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death. ~Robert Fulghum

          You are welcome Yassy. 🙂

  3. Aaaahhh! Your back my friend. And this is totally awesome. Definitely, one of your best. Love the length, love the colorful news wrapped in tasteful touch, retrieving sounds from gutters, and skylines, and almost all places.

    1. Thank you Watt.

      For this segment news reporting I needed to take laughter and stupidity in a whole new level of reporting actual news. 🙂 hahahahaha!!!!

      This kind of influence the poem in a sense.

      Breaking Story So New Reporter Literally Has No Information

  4. LMFAO!!! 😂🤣😂 This is too damn funny, Charlie!!! Completely creative and brilliant! So glad to see you back in action and giving us the gold! 👏

  5. It’s great to finally get the real news. I was wondering about the retirement home closet and the three asshole caucasians . They are always in trouble. I have to agree with Mr.Lonely…brilliant! 🤗

    1. Thank you Holly.

      Real news is what people deserve and deserve better. Fear should be committing fraud for food stamps. hahahahahaha!!!!

      I’m glad you got a good laugh with those lines. 🙂 I don’t know where my head was at when I wrote all this. 🙂

            1. This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. ~ Dalai Lama

              You are welcome Holly.

              P.S Can you let Resa know that I am back. Please…Thank you. 🙂

                1. Yes, I’m following her on that blog. I see she turned off a recent comment from a recent blog post. I wrote to her twice on her blog before. Hope she receives it. I’m assuming she’s busy at the moment.

                  Thank you holly so much. 🙂

  6. “Pomeranian authorities entered
    the home Monday morning at 4am –
    When a sex crazed neighbor
    shouted obscenities
    towards farmers market”

    “Let’s start with ‘Reese’s pieces’.
    You got ‘Al gore’ sitting between
    2 transvestite robots/
    while Steve nasalcrock
    punctures the universe dollar sign.”

    ^^^ WOW….

    Charlie I’ve been missing you! So glad you’re back and with such an incredible piece. This is one of my all time favorites.

    1. I’m glad and happy you got a laugh out of those lines and made you think and laugh.
      This is real and actual parody news I’ve always wanted to report to you guys as my readers.

      I got tired of fear why not laugh the the stupid things newsreaders report. hahahahaha!!! 🙂

      Miss you too my friend. Hope all is well. 🙂 I should write more like this…

      1. I was actually starting to worry because you went quiet for longer than I’m accustomed to! So its like a breath of fresh air to see you back. You are a treasure and this piece was SUCH good satire. ❤

  7. Oh Charlie!!! This is satirical and poetic perfection. Like a mockumentary of sorts.

    “3 giant assholes broke
into a Caucasian retirement closet”

    …Cut to the sex crazed neighbor shouting obscenities at the Jeep endowed farmers market. You’ve bought a huge smile to my face.

    And, I missed you. I actually have a poem in my drafts folder I was hoping to publish later this week that was inspired by one of your poems. I was hoping to link it to you, and hope to entice you back to WP 😂

    1. Thank you Rachel.

      hahahaha!!! I’m glad you and everyone else loved those humorous lines. 🙂 hahahaha!!! LOL!!!! I don’t know where my head was when I wrote them…I’m glad I said it in this poem. 🙂

      Missed you too my friend. 🙂

      You wrote a poem inspired by one of my poems? That is awesome! Yes, please do send me the link when you are finish with the poem. I very much want to read it. 🙂 You have my attention. 🙂

      How have you been my friend? Hope all is well.

      1. I will credit you in the body of the post 🙂. Yes, I am ok, thank you. Well, you know, by ok I mean fine but not fine, not fine but fine. You know what I mean. Life is full of ups and downs and complications and moments of despair and moments of joy. What makes me feel better is being accepting of this. Hope you are well too. I kind of worried about you!!

        1. I understand and know exactly what you mean about ups and downs and fighting that struggle within. I know how you feel and know you are not alone. I too, have gone through that…and that’s why I was absent.

          Awww…thank you my friend. 🙂 Don’t worry…I’m okay and well, life is rough and sometimes balance within helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It really all depends on the heart and mood.

          1. So much depends on heart on mood, and then all the external factors which we don’t always have control over. I’m sorry you have been affected by those things. Take care my friend, and never forget your worth and value. 💛

  8. ………………………………………………Charlie,

    Thank You——-Thank You for all the kindness !

    just think how important poetry is, Baby Bird
    it externalizes the inner Charlie
    it reflects that image
    Baby Bird nourished
    by a different momma
    Baby Bird naked
    once stimulated
    produces art
    (upon demand ?)

    the impulse to create art upon demand

    1. ………………………………………….Michael,

      Thank you for your kindness.

      Art produces gary busey
      and demands for naked poetry!
      The Matrix on the other hand,
      uses Morpheus to cloak
      the world of Jesus.

      Art reflects Tom waits
      and prefers to create zombies
      out of pencil sharpeners.

  9. Charlie………. this prose is brilliant, and a brilliant post.
    The uber mundane is the uber insane.
    I’m not getting email notifications re: your blog anymore. Not a problem.
    I’ll always visit!

    1. Thank you Resa.

      My intention within this poem was meant to invoke laughter and see exactly why news is ridiculous funny and yet, we all need a bit of parody and laughter instead of fear.

      Really???? I wonder why its not showing any notifications on your end. hmmm??? WordPress is having their problem again.

      1. I agree about the humour! I saw its brilliance immediately.
        WP is fab. However, nothing is without its problems. That includes Art Gowns… and poetry.

Be Anonymous!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s