Topless Hamsters of Popcorn Foreplay

 

Mcfly you’re smarter
than Fran drescher
leave the pluming duties to Jesus.
After all – eddy murphy
sought custody of Kevin bacon
and Weird Al Yankovic.

Tom Petty carried
a dozen yoga mats,
fully realizing a giant sourdough crust.
With every non-dairy urinal,
you regain popcorn immunities
resembling fruit roll ups.
Talk about immigration foreplay.

Socks placenta
during tattoo barber shops,
feed them disco feminist retainers –
and you’ll receive a cramp
the size of a topless hamster.
Matthew Mcconaughey
even agreed tofu anus donuts
against his own pancreas –
should never squeeze
the watermelons of Saddam Hussein.

I smell a lawsuit…
well, add some ground pepper,
shoelaces, playboy magazines,
& Jon Bon Jovi, you’ll be good.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Topless Hamsters of Popcorn Foreplay – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Lucille Ball Crucifies Ice Cream and Karma Sutras Zombie Wizards

 

My name is beavis
I cook for Hitler’s Volkswagen –
Spielberg handles the ice cream,
Mel Gibson crucifies Lettuce.
Prayer gives you Howard Sterns,
like Madonna sex changing
into her gift reward card.

Hello, Paula Deen –
care for some racist butter?
Yes! And may Alec Baldwin
continue giving me bj’s –
so zombie wizards and George Clooney
can co-exist in economical bourbon.

Think physics before
solving macadamia salty nuts.
Arby’s & FBI
put grapes on 9/11
using karma sutra
as brochures to Disneyland adventure.

Lucille Ball, finally!
You own Frances Coppola’s peppermint stick.
Life is a piece of cumberbatch.
There’s no telling how the CIA
could ever out run, a pancake mixer.

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Lucille Ball Crucifies Ice Cream and Karma Sutras Zombie Wizards – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Marlon Brando Prophesied Satan’s Anti-aging Testicle Juice

 

I’m tired of hipster beards
living off gypsies & artsy fartsy.
Johnnie Cochran paraphrased it:

“Flop at the box office,
or drink martini juice.”

A famous quote by: Testicle Namaste.

Marlon Brando
coined the term: “Science”
back in the 1700s. How?
He mumbled gibberish
prophesies that entailed; Nazi hairdryers,
DMV chlamydia, & cub scout illuminati.

Oh! So, you’re saying;
yeast infections we’re part
of an elaborate John Travolta
to further their anti-aging bird shit?
Yep, slaveantology
imprisons 7-UP.
They know if you consume it –
it’ll make mick jagger feel horny again.

Gene Simmons…
you trademarked Satan’s abs?
No wonder your soul
is half gazpacho & half psoriasis.
And speaking of Toys ‘r’ us…
How’s life treating you in Barcelona?
Hopefully, soapy and, aunt jemima free…

 

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Marlon Brando Prophesied Satan’s Anti-aging Testicle Juice – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Horoscope Bras and Jamaican Ovaries

 

Ashton Kushner,
you Barbra Streisand
looking mother-budweiser.
Why deny the brown stains
in your briefs?
Take Imodium
and hold Pepe Le Pew’s hand;
if you sense hot flashes
then it’s obviously your Hiroshima.
Stop crying Will Ferrell –
you’ll only sound Jamaican.

Pay close attention
to your Christmas ovaries.
They’ll jingle dodge ball hymns
through Rodney Dangerfield’s eyes.

Notice how Venezuela
plucked out UFO rhinos
from Marisa Tomei’s Armani.
Yeah, and Eminem
wears a horoscope bra
just so he can idolize scrambled eggs.

Watch yourself Garth Algar –
I’m doing the catwalk
working my pecs
and fixing myself a chilidog.
(Grrrr…grrr…) Stomach growling –
the noises inside indicate
a war between cocoa pecan butter,
and John Wayne Gacy’s T.V. guide.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Horoscope Bras and Jamaican Ovaries – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

To my WordPress friends, I am back!

My apologies for my silent absence.

I’ve moved to a new place
and spent this whole month moving in
and unpacking things and helping out a lot.

Got internet connection now!
and I am ready to unleash new poetry works. 

Hope you are all doing well and I missed you all.
I’ll be catching up on all your works,
I’m so happy to be here back on WordPress
and excited to read what you all have posted.

Expect a new post soon.

~Sincerely, Charlie Zero the Poet

Gandalf’s Lesbian Fettuccine

 

Two hobbits one cup
let it play in –
like 5 nuns licking
a punching bag.
And Mona Lisa
shreds her version
of vagina fettuccine.

Westboro Baptist Church
your comical inventions
puts Kirk Cameron
on family feud.
You guys make holiness
feel gonorrhea & Coca cola.

Bob hope would pee
in his speedos –
if he’d found out
Frodo Baggins
was a lesbian pudding
filing for chapter 13 in bankruptcy.

Brad Pitt, you we’re right.
Antiperspirant leads to prostitution.
Take some advice
from Gandalf.
He shook hands with Bill Cosby
the king of Oscar Mayer Wieners.
Doesn’t that mean Whoopi Goldberg to you?
No, it doesn’t…
but if you sell me athlete’s foot
for $5 bucks, will call it ‘lee van cleef’, deal.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Gandalf’s Lesbian Fettuccine – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vervain Earthlings

 

Into earthlings, few have glassed
a varmint homunculus.

A hot piss forebodes – rumples the gooey frailty –
ream of albatross debunk intuit.

Teeth crystal stitch hue.

Your futureless circle-mill –
despairs a jeer tyro galactagogue! 
It dots the sapient,
sinew unwind
a featherlike abscissa.

Measles vervain ball –
Invite you to permanent
guile the Apotheosis
and its smoother hollow immure hod.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Vervain Earthlings – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.