On the next episode of (Jebediah Paella)

Infomercials: ask your doctor.

Stop taking Crisco and call your doctor right away
if your itchy butthole face replenishes
the alphabet
or corporations become deloused
or Martha Steward blames liberals for mac ‘n’ cheese,
get dictionary swagger or
rob halford mowing his lawn in a Hawaiian t-shirt
or Scientologist probing inside your colon without consent.


 Other side effects include
Buckaroo Banzai
rewriting the Bible in gibberish.
Warlords debating with David Lynch
over brisket hormonal lasagna.

Ask your doctor
about Crisco.

Copyright © 2021 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of  On the next episode of (Jebediah Paella) – may not reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may use if full, clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet, and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the next episode of (El Gato Seco)

Vloggers ranting take 2

Jawn Pea Soup: First off, when the illuminati invented the third vibrator,
the world was in awe into whether making a sequel
to (Tarantino and the sphincter breath cow) is the right choice
for Brendan Fraser.

Robert Burnt toast: I think gamma radiation should fit the cornerstone,
unless Sammy Davis Jr. does not meddle with Michael Scott and voodoo mamma mia.

Jawn Pea Soup: Absolutely. Movie making is part of a gavel
and then some. However, what about ‘Cindy Crawford’? She invaded
germonoscopy and had ‘Prince’ do a 10-hour solo rendition
of Ron burgundy eating a full plate of milk.

Robert Burnt toast: You know Jawn, if stories predetermine ‘tony danza’,
it is possible he was the first pimp master-t to undermine soda pop
and prophylactic wrapper.

Jawn Pea Soup: That’s cinema! Ben-Hur made a bigger announcement
regarding ointments and pedicure. Therefore, why do movie-going

audiences whisk their eggs using right hand instead of left? Satanism!

Robert Burnt toast: I guess common sense felt a need of retirement.

Jawn Pea Soup: You are absolutely correct, economical and sufficient.

Copyright © 2021 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of  On the next episode of (El gato seco) – may not reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may use if full, clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet, and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

On the next episode of (Omaha in Ninja Lettuce)

Celebrity arguments: Take 1

Charlize Theron: HOW THE FUCK – DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO USE FLAMINGOS AS TOOTH FLOSS
WHEN MACGYVER IS ON AT 10:06pm!


Matthew Broderick: Charlize, listen…it’s not my fault
that tomatoes are ‘Christianizing’ milkshakes
as conspiracy institute for baking soda & Coachella.


Charlize Theron: FUCK YOU! AND YOU’RE ‘BRONCOSAURUS REX!’
YOU THINK ADAM SANDLER DID NOT SMOKE THE PIPER.
IF YOU DO NOT GET ME FOSSIL FUEL
WITHIN THE NEXT HALF HOUR,
I AM GOING TO CALL ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ AND HAVE HIM MAKE US
SOME MOTHER! FUCKING! PANCAKES! Understood.


Matthew Broderick: Okay, you are right. Its best we talk to professionals
about soy sauce and Rod Stewart giving himself the Heimlich maneuver.
The risk is middle but we need to keep our metabolism on floppy disk.


Charlie Theron: Perfect. Now, let us squat ourselves down
to the jiu-jitsu system and see how much (GPA) is worth.

Copyright © 2021 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of  On the next episode of (Omaha in Ninja Lettuce) – may not reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may use if full, clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet, and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

X Rabbits got my Christmas Tree Pregnant

Cheeseburger church tree.

Deforestation farted x-rabbit pregnant.

 My Christmas Unabomber
got
French fry an arthritis.

Chimpanzee synthesizer made of angus beef.

Copyright © 2015 Charlie Zero the poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of X Rabbits got my Christmas Tree Pregnant – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.