Gandalf’s Lesbian Fettuccine

 

Two hobbits one cup
let it play in –
like 5 nuns licking
a punching bag.
And Mona Lisa
shreds her version
of vagina fettuccine.

Westboro Baptist Church
your comical inventions
puts Kirk Cameron
on family feud.
You guys make holiness
feel gonorrhea & Coca cola.

Bob hope would pee
in his speedos –
if he’d found out
Frodo Baggins
was a lesbian pudding
filing for chapter 13 in bankruptcy.

Brad Pitt, you we’re right.
Antiperspirant leads to prostitution.
Take some advice
from Gandalf.
He shook hands with Bill Cosby
the king of Oscar Mayer Wieners.
Doesn’t that mean Whoopi Goldberg to you?
No, it doesn’t…
but if you sell me athlete’s foot
for $5 bucks, will call it ‘lee van cleef’, deal.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

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No part of Gandalf’s Lesbian Fettuccine – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Absurd Stories from the Talking Diarrhea

 

President Diarrhea speaks:

My fellow ohhhmericans…

We the pimple
face the greatest threat of all –
enchiladas & victoria secret
If you want to cook lingerie
I suggest seasoning it
with sex appeal & anemic,
the darker we cook it,
the more succulent discoveries
of the big bang nostrils taste.

Health care coverage –
sponsors eat less
& gluten later.
Gucci & Calvin Klein
rodomontade.
They demand sexy
to be the next casket.

Pimple of planet girth
your Eiffel Tower shafts
grow veiny & hard
try “Joe Pesci’s”, prophylactic
the best #1 doctor recommended.

Protects against:
Soy yogurt, Tofu,
Seitan, Chickpeas,
Cashews, Brown rice,
Quinoa, Multigrain pasta,
Dry broth, Sun-dried tomatoes,
Flax seeds, & Nutritional yeast…

Be patient hombre’s
hold on to your mac & cheez
Al Qaeda’s got the beans burning.

Purging disorder,
look around you
replicas compete
with one another.

Oregano
vs.
Michael Kors
eat me,
buy me.

The sucked face assholes
of ohhhmerica –
should Botox their nut sacks
and illegalize Panda express.

Don’t even get me started on the bible.
The worst science fiction
since Neil Armstrong
took Viagra mistaking it for penicillin.
You see the problem folks: Listerine power to your prejudice.

 

 

Note: This poem is NOT about ‘Trump’. In fact – its my own world of  ‘ohhhmerica’, and how I’d like to see it one day –
society speaking in weird manner towards one another
and its consumerism of absurdity.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Absurd Stories from the Talking Diarrhea – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vervain Earthlings

 

Apotheosis tyro,
you see its abscissa;
forming into a sapient.
Vervain jeers at dots
with guile and immure.

Earthlings…
frailty intuit,
despair of organisms.
Forebode…
varmint hod,
rumple sinew debunks somehow.

Extraterrestrials piss
out a gooey homunculus
featherlike albatross mutant.
Its glass hollow teeth
a crystal ball of futureless seems.

Galactagogue!
Permanent measles…
Sorry, hot blind stitch.
Unwind, you circle-mill hue –
crack the smoother invite the few.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Vervain Earthlings – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Eaten by Eros Whispering Remains

 

Time chewer
whispers untying,
eaten by eros
love maids’ seduce turbulence.

Dolphin’s breath
edits the pine gods.
Unbeknown
ebony celiac,
the horrific ones
pleased unperceived.

Crocodiles & vipers
inhale the mushroom.
Its profound colloquial –
remains a loud staid
endangered glimmer.

Gruesome cream
and coda cork.
Cumulonimbus carcass,
devils brothel
mosque in revelry,
escort biohazard –
you now, manufacture spirit.

Thespian whirlwind
shadows blue pig dire.
A smite emit fling;
this antifreeze can’t think.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Eaten by Eros Whispering Remains – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Twitching this Urge for Those Billion Lonely Days

 

In day’s sibylline
Monday cramps –
muscles pallid.

Lonely desert
caffeine’s,
they fidget, & sidle.
Robo-eagles
electrickivorous,
feast on carcass stress.

Those twitching Tuesdays
slovenly swears Wednesday –
rot miracle zizzle poeflangorge cough whey.

I’m scripturient sitting on solitude show.
This urge overwhelms a billion times that.

Erratic pots welter.
Lips fatigue, zximklop.
Stimulendshot,
dead depressed microfiche
lay beside the pismire colony.

Thursday vallasloon
faith impaired…
Della sotto voce –
peepy poppy Rorschach,
feefeey soma bell knees,
Zitty-zitty zog rum push.

Did you forget Friday?
Hallelujah suicidal spray.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Twitching this Urge for Those Billion Lonely Days – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Most Amphibians Left the Oxygen a Cadaver

 

Hymenopteran sips formaldehyde,
ocellus beams, teleportation unlocked.
Multi-folded puddles
depletion underside.

Mason jar lung egg hatch,
teeth dominos invoice
the oxygen cadaver.

Like embalming amphibians
through the O,
data rabies latch where gibberellins mate.

Column respiration
deaf percussions
stage the assassin’s ear.

All intimate swill…
Autolysis synonym being…

Declaim insincere,
cell seethe
and larva swelling.

Tongue testified
hanged molecules;
colorless dogs
mostly eat yellow bony nails
chambered in hemoglobin vulture.

Outerlude Jesus
your tummies growling,
evolving, asphyxiating,
extinction mourns 3:00am.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Most Amphibians Left the Oxygen a Cadaver – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Kaczynski Entertainment Anxiety

 

Lab rats we are –
experiment on us, MKOFTEN.
Prolong my mental mayonnaise.

Come Kaczynski…
take a peep inside my head,
high on entertainment
anxiety turn & bend over.

Sequester, gorgeous old friend –
mother, I beg of you…
punish the humans
they have failed you
left promises dehydrated & beaten.

Pop pro after/ I’m pro then.

Anarchism, Check!
Environmentalism, stop pretending you care.

Technology world-wide Russian roulette!
Industrialism blushes.

Planet earth on suicide watch!

She’s nauseous through borrowed merriment.

My blueberry bomb
resembles your overpopulation migraine.
Deserve death the alchemist croons –
Deserve mistakes yes to hospitality.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Kaczynski Entertainment Anxiety – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.