Gandalf’s Lesbian Fettuccine

 

Two hobbits one cup
let it play in –
like 5 nuns licking
a punching bag.
And Mona Lisa
shreds her version
of vagina fettuccine.

Westboro Baptist Church
your comical inventions
puts Kirk Cameron
on family feud.
You guys make holiness
feel gonorrhea & Coca cola.

Bob hope would pee
in his speedos –
if he’d found out
Frodo Baggins
was a lesbian pudding
filing for chapter 13 in bankruptcy.

Brad Pitt, you we’re right.
Antiperspirant leads to prostitution.
Take some advice
from Gandalf.
He shook hands with Bill Cosby
the king of Oscar Mayer Wieners.
Doesn’t that mean Whoopi Goldberg to you?
No, it doesn’t…
but if you sell me athlete’s foot
for $5 bucks, will call it ‘lee van cleef’, deal.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Gandalf’s Lesbian Fettuccine – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Absurd Stories from the Talking Diarrhea

 

President Diarrhea speaks:

My fellow ohhhmericans…

We the pimple
face the greatest threat of all –
enchiladas & victoria secret
If you want to cook lingerie
I suggest seasoning it
with sex appeal & anemic,
the darker we cook it,
the more succulent discoveries
of the big bang nostrils taste.

Health care coverage –
sponsors eat less
& gluten later.
Gucci & Calvin Klein
rodomontade.
They demand sexy
to be the next casket.

Pimple of planet girth
your Eiffel Tower shafts
grow veiny & hard
try “Joe Pesci’s”, prophylactic
the best #1 doctor recommended.

Protects against:
Soy yogurt, Tofu,
Seitan, Chickpeas,
Cashews, Brown rice,
Quinoa, Multigrain pasta,
Dry broth, Sun-dried tomatoes,
Flax seeds, & Nutritional yeast…

Be patient hombre’s
hold on to your mac & cheez
Al Qaeda’s got the beans burning.

Purging disorder,
look around you
replicas compete
with one another.

Oregano
vs.
Michael Kors
eat me,
buy me.

The sucked face assholes
of ohhhmerica –
should Botox their nut sacks
and illegalize Panda express.

Don’t even get me started on the bible.
The worst science fiction
since Neil Armstrong
took Viagra mistaking it for penicillin.
You see the problem folks: Listerine power to your prejudice.

 

 

Note: This poem is NOT about ‘Trump’. In fact – its my own world of  ‘ohhhmerica’, and how I’d like to see it one day –
society speaking in weird manner towards one another
and its consumerism of absurdity.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Absurd Stories from the Talking Diarrhea – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vervain Earthlings

 

Apotheosis tyro,
you see its abscissa;
forming into a sapient.
Vervain jeers at dots
with guile and immure.

Earthlings…
frailty intuit,
despair of organisms.
Forebode…
varmint hod,
rumple sinew debunks somehow.

Extraterrestrials piss
out a gooey homunculus
featherlike albatross mutant.
Its glass hollow teeth
a crystal ball of futureless seems.

Galactagogue!
Permanent measles…
Sorry, hot blind stitch.
Unwind, you circle-mill hue –
crack the smoother invite the few.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Vervain Earthlings – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Eaten by Eros Whispering Remains

 

Time chewer
whispers untying,
eaten by eros
love maids’ seduce turbulence.

Dolphin’s breath
edits the pine gods.
Unbeknown
ebony celiac,
the horrific ones
pleased unperceived.

Crocodiles & vipers
inhale the mushroom.
Its profound colloquial –
remains a loud staid
endangered glimmer.

Gruesome cream
and coda cork.
Cumulonimbus carcass,
devils brothel
mosque in revelry,
escort biohazard –
you now, manufacture spirit.

Thespian whirlwind
shadows blue pig dire.
A smite emit fling;
this antifreeze can’t think.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Eaten by Eros Whispering Remains – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Twitching this Urge for Those Billion Lonely Days

 

In day’s sibylline
Monday cramps –
muscles pallid.

Lonely desert
caffeine’s,
they fidget, & sidle.
Robo-eagles
electrickivorous,
feast on carcass stress.

Those twitching Tuesdays
slovenly swears Wednesday –
rot miracle zizzle poeflangorge cough whey.

I’m scripturient sitting on solitude show.
This urge overwhelms a billion times that.

Erratic pots welter.
Lips fatigue, zximklop.
Stimulendshot,
dead depressed microfiche
lay beside the pismire colony.

Thursday vallasloon
faith impaired…
Della sotto voce –
peepy poppy Rorschach,
feefeey soma bell knees,
Zitty-zitty zog rum push.

Did you forget Friday?
Hallelujah suicidal spray.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Twitching this Urge for Those Billion Lonely Days – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Kaczynski Entertainment Anxiety

 

Lab rats we are –
experiment on us, MKOFTEN.
Prolong my mental mayonnaise.

Come Kaczynski…
take a peep inside my head,
high on entertainment
anxiety turn & bend over.

Sequester, gorgeous old friend –
mother, I beg of you…
punish the humans
they have failed you
left promises dehydrated & beaten.

Pop pro after/ I’m pro then.

Anarchism, Check!
Environmentalism, stop pretending you care.

Technology world-wide Russian roulette!
Industrialism blushes.

Planet earth on suicide watch!

She’s nauseous through borrowed merriment.

My blueberry bomb
resembles your overpopulation migraine.
Deserve death the alchemist croons –
Deserve mistakes yes to hospitality.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet

All rights Reserved.

No part of Kaczynski Entertainment Anxiety – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero the Poet and his poetry works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grief Paints Herself Void of Substance

 

Hearts distended,
termites feed
my emotional wooden cocoon.

In time unfurled.
Color will vaporize
on heavy lidded sunset.

Tears of saudade,
covet what belongs
trapped in perfidy.

Grief paints herself empty of faith.
Weeping statues dissolve marble;
only traces remain void of substance.

Tornados sob.
Everything wise dead.
Innocence & beauty
withers her philosophy away.

Tension snakes across wires.
Holding us from falling sideways –
lightning casts’ dark skies
stages without masters.

Billion voices atrophy.
Mr. Mirror image
pull the strings from flesh,
happiness cafard,
flowers anorexic.

All things
Stand looking at themselves.
Still against shroud
as we are,
we are no more.
Roll the film
to empty audience.

Sunshine unzips
its complexion;
behind it a sad destiny –
waiting to be held
waiting to wail.

For who among us –
Shelled and pulled, could
in scourge of truth know
Tenderness by our inchworm;
climb to itching greed.

Staple gun my everlasting woe.
Hammering our breath,
teeth wrinkle of weary,
alone we request.

Spiked baptism
wetting the brows
of unadorned novices,
knelt in piqued splendor
Come the Christendom.

A Cyclops ram
howls unexpectedly.
Drenching in agony
without volumes;
tragic heeds ahead.

Wings of leather
Darken skies bled of iron,
Herald.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Zero the Poet & Candice Louisa Daquin

All rights Reserved.

No part of Grief Paints Herself Void of Substance – may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Charlie Zero and Candice Louisa Daquin works with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

 

This is our 2nd collaboration
with my coolest sister Candice Louisa Daquin.

A very different theme challenge
about emotions, something new in poetry,

something special about 2 minds bringing forth an
eclectic heart and feel that comes from within.

My sister and I, feel so proud of this work.
I hope her and I collaborate again.
She’s an inspiration and an influential.

Please pay her site a visit. She’s writes the best poetry ever written.

https://thefeatheredsleepcom.wordpress.com/