On the next episode of (Jebediah Paella)

Infomercials: ask your doctor.

Stop taking Crisco and call your doctor right away
if your itchy butthole face replenishes
the alphabet
or corporations become deloused
or Martha Steward blames liberals for mac ‘n’ cheese,
get dictionary swagger or
rob halford mowing his lawn in a Hawaiian t-shirt
or Scientologist probing inside your colon without consent.

 Other side effects include
Buckaroo Banzai
rewriting the Bible in gibberish.
Warlords debating with David Lynch
over brisket hormonal lasagna.

Ask your doctor
about Crisco.

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